Absolute rookie bullshit from the referees tonight, wow. The Blazers played great, I'm not taking anything away from them, they're a sick team and to be honest, my favorite team in the Western Conference. Without Brandon Roy tonight they stayed in the game and fought the whole way through. THAT BEING SAID:
How can you allow points to count when you have six men on the floor???? HOW?! Is this rec league? Last time I checked the NBA was a five on five league. When there are six men on the court and the team scores at that moment, and it is pointed out right then and there, and a technical foul is called on that team, HOW CAN THOSE TWO POINTS COUNT??!
I am beside myself after watching this game tonight. The Celts were not on top of their game and the refs were not on top of theirs. That equals the home team underdog stealing one from the Celtics.
It might not seem like a big deal, one point, whatever. But it is. This was a close game all the way through. If the referees knew the damn rules of the game, they would have known that they were supposed to replay the last 10 seconds of that quarter to make it fair. You shouldn't benefit from doing something illigally.
Sucks that we lost, but the Cavs lost to a much worse team in the Miami Heat, so they didn't gain ground on us anyways. The bottom line is the Celts need to snap out of whatever slump they're in now and remember how to win a damn game. I think a nice home game or two will put us back on track, time will only tell.
Also, I love Kevin Garnett, but the schenanigans on the court need to stop. That elbow to LaMarcus Aldridge was scummy, and luckily Aldridge hit him back or KG would have been hit with a technical and it would have been a huge deal. KG, keep the intensity, but cut the shit out there.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
World's Dumbest Criminal
Bad recycling: Pay stub used as bank robbery note
CHICAGO – The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub. An FBI affidavit said the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot." The robber got about $400 but left half of his note. Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors. Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address. The suspect was arrested at his Cary home. A judge ordered him held without bond Monday. If convicted of bank robbery, he faces 20 years in prison.
CHICAGO – The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub. An FBI affidavit said the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot." The robber got about $400 but left half of his note. Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors. Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address. The suspect was arrested at his Cary home. A judge ordered him held without bond Monday. If convicted of bank robbery, he faces 20 years in prison.
This is golden. First of all, dude, you are a fucking bank robber, use spell check. No bank teller is gonna understand what "Be Quit" means in a note. If that teller starts screaming her head off its not her fault. Secondly, buy some robber stationery. I can imagine this dude writing his note from a $55.67 paycheck from Burger King he found on floor of his Ford Pinto. Then he did the WORST possible crime faux pas which is to leave any evidence behind, especially the one that would lead the FBI directly to your residence, atleast show a little bit of intelligence. Hopefully when he's in jail his other inmates understand his "Pleeze Do Not Rayp Me" note on his cell door.
--MM--
Take that Yankees! Sox sign pitcher just as fat as Sabathia!
McDonalds is sponsoring the first matchup between Brad Penny and C.C. Sabathia.In what appears to be a counter move to the Yankees signing of extrememly fat pitcher C.C. Sabathia, the Sox went ahead and sign insanely fat pitcher Brad Penny from the L.A. Dodgers.
Penny is coming off an injury plagued year but he did win 16 games back in 2006 and 2007. His best year was definitely in 2007 when he went 16-4 with a 3.03 era.
It's only a one year deal so unlike the Yanks, the Sox can forget about this little rendezvous at the end of the season. It's a low risk high reward signing. If Penny can win 12-15 games and post a 3.50 era then mission accomplished.
I still think this team should sign Derek Lowe. I mean, we need to do something right? And who is catching this year? Are we planning on putting a trash can behind the plate? Hey wait a minute, that's not a bad idea. It would probably throw out more baserunners then Varitek anyways, and the batting average wouldn't be a big difference really either...
Mangina fired by Jets
Well that is that. On the same day Romeo Crennel gets fired, Mangina gets the axe as well.
Make no mistake about it, Belichick is furious we aren't in the playoffs, but if I know Bill like I know Bill, he woke up this morning, pissed excellence, had a big breakfast cooked by his cougar girlfriend, picked up the paper and saw that Mangini was fired, and a smirk came about his face (picture the grinch's smirk).
I guess thats the silver lining in this whole thing. Sure, Mangini screwed the Pats by not being able to win a game, but in the longrun he screwed himself because I'm not sure he's worthy of another starting job anywhere else in the NFL. The Jets are in shambles right now. So glad I wasn't born into being a Jets fan.
--JT--
Make no mistake about it, Belichick is furious we aren't in the playoffs, but if I know Bill like I know Bill, he woke up this morning, pissed excellence, had a big breakfast cooked by his cougar girlfriend, picked up the paper and saw that Mangini was fired, and a smirk came about his face (picture the grinch's smirk).
I guess thats the silver lining in this whole thing. Sure, Mangini screwed the Pats by not being able to win a game, but in the longrun he screwed himself because I'm not sure he's worthy of another starting job anywhere else in the NFL. The Jets are in shambles right now. So glad I wasn't born into being a Jets fan.
--JT--
Honey Bees Blow Lines
"Anybody got a credit card?..."
Unlike most insects, bees are drawn to the coca plant chemical -- they become addicted, and suffer withdrawal symptoms when deprived of it, a study finds. Cocaine repels most insects -- which is why the coca plant makes the chemical in the first place. But in a surprising new finding, U.S. and Australian researchers reported Friday that honeybees are susceptible to the drug's insidious lure. They become addicted, and even suffer withdrawal symptoms when they no longer have access.The findings, reported in the Journal of Experimental Biology, may help explain the "waggle dance" used by foraging bees to tell their hive-mates where to find food, and even provide hints about how the drug works in the human brain. (http://www.latimes.com/news/science/la-sci-honeybees27-2008dec27,0,2773304.story)
I know the Pats didn't make the playoffs and it really sucks and Jimmy is battling with some asshole on the comment section down below even though the guy has no better argument than "New England has bad weather" or something. So here I am bringing you some comedic enjoyment today. I love this story. The thought of bees just fiending for coke and giving back alley sexual favors for a quick fix are hilarious mental images. And I cant tell you how many times I've seen someone do the "waggle dance" at like 11:30 on a Saturday night when they are all coked up. I always knew bees were ornery and pissed off when people fucked with them but I never knew it was because they hadn't free-based off a pollen stem in a few hours. I look at bees in a much cooler, party animal light now. To all you coke dealers out there you were just introduced to a HUGE new market of clients. You can thank me later.
--MM--
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Favre sucks, Mangina blows, Pats get screwed
Well, not enough plays in the world could get the Jets to pull off the improbable victory over the beasts of the AFC East, the unstoppable, dynasty-like, mammoth of a team, known as the Miami Dolphins. I mean, did we actually believe Eric Mangina could win a game? The guy hasn't won a thing since he became head coach of the New York Jets.
The fact that the Patriots will miss the playoffs with an 11-5 record is a travesty. Any team that goes to the Super Bowl should have to go though the New England Patriots for it to be a legitimate championship. This is a disaster.
Every New York Jets fan should feel ashamed of themselves for paying money to watch and follow this joke of a team. Listen, it's one thing if Mangina wants to screw over the state of New York (New Jersey) with his terrible play calling and lack of coaching. It's another to screw over an entire region known as New England.
Brett Favre is an absolute joke. Why did this guy come back? He's got nothing left in the bag. How many more interceptions will this guy throw before he retires? He could easily be the most overrated quarterback in the history of overrated quarterbacks. His time is up. Please Brett, if you read my blog, and you don't, retire once and for all and never come back into the spotlight. HAHA yeah right, Brett Favre not in the spotlight? That's a joke. The guy craves more attention then Jonah from Summer Heights High.
"Boo hoo hoo we lost the game, I retire!"
(2 weeks later) "I want another shot."
Michael Jordan can retire twice and get away with it because he was the greatest basketball player to ever live. Brett Favre is nowhere near that status in football. He will never lead a team to a championship again and should stop wasting everybodys time.
Romeo Crennel will lose his job this year, Eric Mangina should lose his job this year, and Charlie Weis should lose his job this year. What does that say about Bill Belichick? So much for that great coaching staff from 2001. It's clearly all Bill Belichick and it always will be. The guy took a backup quarterback with zero experience and turned him into a legit starting quarterback who lead his team to 11 wins.
"New York, tell me how my ass tastes." -Chad Pennington
The fact that the Patriots will miss the playoffs with an 11-5 record is a travesty. Any team that goes to the Super Bowl should have to go though the New England Patriots for it to be a legitimate championship. This is a disaster.
Every New York Jets fan should feel ashamed of themselves for paying money to watch and follow this joke of a team. Listen, it's one thing if Mangina wants to screw over the state of New York (New Jersey) with his terrible play calling and lack of coaching. It's another to screw over an entire region known as New England.
Brett Favre is an absolute joke. Why did this guy come back? He's got nothing left in the bag. How many more interceptions will this guy throw before he retires? He could easily be the most overrated quarterback in the history of overrated quarterbacks. His time is up. Please Brett, if you read my blog, and you don't, retire once and for all and never come back into the spotlight. HAHA yeah right, Brett Favre not in the spotlight? That's a joke. The guy craves more attention then Jonah from Summer Heights High.
"Boo hoo hoo we lost the game, I retire!"
(2 weeks later) "I want another shot."
Michael Jordan can retire twice and get away with it because he was the greatest basketball player to ever live. Brett Favre is nowhere near that status in football. He will never lead a team to a championship again and should stop wasting everybodys time.
Romeo Crennel will lose his job this year, Eric Mangina should lose his job this year, and Charlie Weis should lose his job this year. What does that say about Bill Belichick? So much for that great coaching staff from 2001. It's clearly all Bill Belichick and it always will be. The guy took a backup quarterback with zero experience and turned him into a legit starting quarterback who lead his team to 11 wins.
"New York, tell me how my ass tastes." -Chad Pennington
Wind Bag
"Last time we vacation in Buffalo..."
As I watched the Pats and Bills struggle playing in the wind today I felt cheated that the Patriots season came down to a fluke weather pattern designed by Momma Nature. I always thought that snow or rain games were the wost type of weather, but clearly I was wrong. Wind leaves special teams, and passing games as useful as Helen Keller as an air traffic controller. Atleast in the snow and rain the teams flop around and there are some unintentionally hilarious moments. A windy game just makes every play obviously a running play, and the defense able to stack 7-8-9 guys in the box to stop the run. Regardless, the Pats pulled it off and now we wait to see if the Ravens or Fins trip up in their respective games. Just like my esteemed collegue Jim said though, watch out for the Jets throwing the game at home, all the while screaming "If we go down, Patriots you are coming with us! Rahhhhhhhh!!!!!" or something along those lines.
--MM--
Pats go to 11-5, wait for the Jets to win or Baltimore to lose
Ok, that was expected. ThePats took care of business as usual. For us to clinch, the Jets need to win or the Ravens needs to lose. I highly doubt the Ravens will lose due to the fact that they are playing great football and they're at home against a poor Jacksonville team.
The Jets SHOULD win. The Dolphins have no business clinching the AFC East. If they let Pennington go into New York and win, Mangini should be fired within minutes of the post-game press conference.
The Jets might try based on the fact that if they win and Baltimore loses they clinch the wildcard. They know as well as I do that Baltimore isn't losing, so who knows how they perform.
If Baltimore is up big on Jacksonville early, look for Mangina to pull some schenanigans to screw over the Patriots.
The Jets SHOULD win. The Dolphins have no business clinching the AFC East. If they let Pennington go into New York and win, Mangini should be fired within minutes of the post-game press conference.
The Jets might try based on the fact that if they win and Baltimore loses they clinch the wildcard. They know as well as I do that Baltimore isn't losing, so who knows how they perform.
If Baltimore is up big on Jacksonville early, look for Mangina to pull some schenanigans to screw over the Patriots.
Will Mangina screw us over?
This fat tub of lard better learn how to win a game.A week ago the Pats/Bills game, Jets/Dolphins game, and Baltimore/Jacksonville game were all slated for 1pm starts. For some ridiculous retarded and unconstitutional reason, the Jets and Baltimore game was pushed back to a 4:15 start. This is a terrible, terrible thing for the Pats.
I have all the confidence in the world that the Patriots will win tomorrow. They're playing their best football of the season, Buffalo is playing their worst, Pats have everything to play for, Buffalo has nothing, Pats own Buffalo something like 10 wins in a row.
I touched upon the idea of Mangina screwing us over a few weeks ago but didn't think the possibility of it would actually happen. Well slap me sideways.
I'm watching this Jets game like a HAWK tomorrow. There is no excuse for Favre and the Jets to lose this game at home. The SECOND I see any signs of the Jets punting this game, I'm on the phone to Goodell. This CBS flex bullshit to get more viewers is a joke. Ratings are one thing, but don't screw with an entire season to get a better one. How is this allowed???
It was perfectly set up before. All three games are at the same time so all the teams will try equally as hard, not knowing what the outcome is.
If the Pats win, the Jets have nothing to play for. They will be officially eliminated. How do you expect a team to go out and perform to its fullest knowing that 15 minutes ago it was just eliminated from playoff contention??
This is so frustrating to me and all Pats fans I'm sure. Screw this flex schedule bullshit. Jets better win tomorrow or there will be hell to pay.
--JT--
Friday, December 26, 2008
Youk to play in WBC
Good for Youk. Glad to see that the Boston athletes aren't too good to represent their country. Also good to see Youk play for a team that he actually truly represents and profits from, unlike someone else.
A-Rod is such a tool. He tries so hard, not at baseball, but at being accepted by the rest of the gang. Dude, you're banging Madonna, ew. A-Rod, how about we stop paying you in American dollars since you're too good to represent us? What a joke and a travesty. He should be booed by Americans across the USA because he's a joke, not because he's a Yankee, although that does help.
Pedroia and Youk will be representing the U.S.A. team and that is great news for the country. These guys truly represent what American baseball is all about and what Boston is all about. They are both hard-nosed dirt dogs who will do anything to win. Those are the players that U.S.A. should want. Not those Yankee bitches.
A-Rod is such a tool. He tries so hard, not at baseball, but at being accepted by the rest of the gang. Dude, you're banging Madonna, ew. A-Rod, how about we stop paying you in American dollars since you're too good to represent us? What a joke and a travesty. He should be booed by Americans across the USA because he's a joke, not because he's a Yankee, although that does help.
Pedroia and Youk will be representing the U.S.A. team and that is great news for the country. These guys truly represent what American baseball is all about and what Boston is all about. They are both hard-nosed dirt dogs who will do anything to win. Those are the players that U.S.A. should want. Not those Yankee bitches.
Bah Humbug
Well, that sucked. But did it? I mean we had to lose eventually right? Nobody actually thought were going to go undefeated the rest of the year did they? Guilty. Oh well. Santa can do a lot of things but unfortunately he can't referee the Celtics game today. What a poorly refereed game. I'm not just saying it because we lost, but really that was bad.
I forgot how much I hated the Lakers until today. And what the hell was up with ABC. Did ABC buy the Lakers? Did I miss something? Everything was L.A., L.A., L.A. all game. The halftime show was terrible. I turned it off. I can't look at Kobe and watch him wish the troops in Iraq a merry Christmas, I just cannot do it. It's not that I don't want people to wish them a Merry Christmas, just that I don't want cry babies, egomaniacs, fakers, and not to mention rapists, doing the wishing. What can you do right? Somewhere in Iraq there was a Celtics fan who put a bullet through the television.
Vujacic is such a bitch, it's amazing to see really. What the hell is up with Gasol? What a douchebag. I expect that stuff from Kobe and Odom, but I didn't think Gasol was American enough to pull that shit. I CANNOT wait until L.A. comes into town and the Celts just manhandle those punks.
The Celtics needed to remember what it felt like to lose. This can only mean good things. This is just another loss for us. It's meaningless really. We are what, like, 12 games ahead in the division? Like I said before, we can go on a 12 game losing streak and still be in first place.
Doc kept the rotations the same while it was clear L.A. was all about this game and this game only. We aren't stressing about it. Business as usual, on to the next game. Not a better way to forget about a loss then to play Golden State the next night.
--JT--
I forgot how much I hated the Lakers until today. And what the hell was up with ABC. Did ABC buy the Lakers? Did I miss something? Everything was L.A., L.A., L.A. all game. The halftime show was terrible. I turned it off. I can't look at Kobe and watch him wish the troops in Iraq a merry Christmas, I just cannot do it. It's not that I don't want people to wish them a Merry Christmas, just that I don't want cry babies, egomaniacs, fakers, and not to mention rapists, doing the wishing. What can you do right? Somewhere in Iraq there was a Celtics fan who put a bullet through the television.
Vujacic is such a bitch, it's amazing to see really. What the hell is up with Gasol? What a douchebag. I expect that stuff from Kobe and Odom, but I didn't think Gasol was American enough to pull that shit. I CANNOT wait until L.A. comes into town and the Celts just manhandle those punks.
The Celtics needed to remember what it felt like to lose. This can only mean good things. This is just another loss for us. It's meaningless really. We are what, like, 12 games ahead in the division? Like I said before, we can go on a 12 game losing streak and still be in first place.
Doc kept the rotations the same while it was clear L.A. was all about this game and this game only. We aren't stressing about it. Business as usual, on to the next game. Not a better way to forget about a loss then to play Golden State the next night.
--JT--
Thursday, December 25, 2008
I'mmmmm dreaming, of a Greeeeeeen Christmas...
Merry Christmas friends!
I have been waiting for this day for so long now, you have no idea. It's Christmas damnit! You wake up early, bolt down the stairs, "HE CAME! HE CAME! HE ATE THE COOKIES MOM! MOM, MOM, HE ATE THEM! MOM I'M OPENING UP MY STOCKING OK? DAD? YOU UP DAD? MOM HE ATE THE COOKIES. WHOAAA PRESENTS!"
aaaaaand then you turn 13 (or in my case 21) and you realize Christmas is more than just gifts. It's about Celtics-Lakers rivalry. Listen folks, since they announced the schedule I've been drooling over this game. Yeah, whatever, we won 19 games in a row. Whatever, we have the best start in NBA history. Whatever, the Sox, Pats, and Celts combined for six championships since 2001, soon to be ten when all four major sports teams win this year. The bottom line is at 5:00pm today, the biggest game of the regular season takes place.
It's obvious the Lakers need this game more than the Celtics. Does that mean the Celtics don't want it? Absolutely not. I didn't get any sleep last night cause I was listening for Santa (missed him again), KG didn't get any sleep last night because he was just so wired thinking about today's game.
We'll win. I'm not worried about it. Like I said when we played the Hawks, we don't NEED this game. The Lakers need this game like Lindsey Lohan needs cocaine on a Saturday night. All the pressure is on L.A. They've been playing relatively shitty as of late and they have the home game on Christmas for some ridiculous reason I don't want to try to understand.
The Celtics will roll into L.A., hopefully run out onto the court with the NBA Finals trophy, middle fingers in the air, and curb stomp the Lakers. KG will make Bynum his personal bitch all game. Perk will throw punches at Odom. Rondo will laugh in Farmars face all the way to the hoop. Tony Allen will take a dump on Walton's chest. Powe will make Vujacic eat Tony's shit off of Walton. Pierce will throw gang signs at random members of the crowd. Doc Rivers will lose his voice, but spit on Jackson. Big Baby will look a little downsy as usual. Eddie House will do what Eddie House does best beside shoot three pointers, and that is just talk trash. Along with Sam Cassell they will trash talk until Derek Fisher cries. Meanwhile, Ray Allen will remain classy. BYAH!!
Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, and make sure you watch the Celtics game.
--JT--
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Being homeless around Christmas
I know, I know. My absence from the blog has been a hot topic around the city. "Where have you been Jimmy? We've been worried sick about you. Feed us blogs! Come back!" Those are just a few of the things I've been hearing during my daily stroll around town.
To be honest I've had quite the eventful past couple of days. Normally I'd love to blog about it, but to be honest it's downright embarassing and I'd rather forget it ever happened. To make a long and pretty entertaining story short, I lost my keys at about 3am Monday night, got locked out of my apartment, and well, here I am today, Christmas Eve, finally home!
I don't want to be homeless ever again, especially during Christmas. It was kind of like that movie Home Alone except I was homeless and not alone (so maybe it's nothing like Home Alone actually). Anyways, I'm alive! It's a Christmas miracle! So much shit happened while I was half dead in a gutter!
For one thing, when you're homeless you have a lot of time to do shit, but nothing to do and nowhere to go. Luckily I got all my Christmas shopping done on Tuesday at the mall because I needed a place to stay warm and decided to kill two birds with one stone. So that was fun. You can be homeless for a day or two and not feel half as bad as you do after a chicken quesadilla and three tacos from Taco Bell, I learned that for sure.
How about Mark Teixeira?! I'm glad he's not on the Sox, I'm ecstatic actually, a little bummed the Skanks got him but what can you do right? They lose one terrible contract in Giambi and pick up right where they left off with three more! Thats why I love Hank the Yank Skank Steinbrenner. Teixeira is a very good player, but honestly the Sox are a pitcher and a catcher away from ring number three this century. Sign Derek Lowe!
Also, I didn't feel bad missing the post-game post about the Celtics after beating the 76ers last night because technically I already blogged on that last week. Tomorrow is Christmas and you know what that means... Celtics. Lakers. 5:00est. ABC. Do yourself a favor and bet on the Celtics. Last time I checked they were underdogs. Not sure how that is possible but it is.
Bruins won again last night as well as Tim Thomas made exceptional save after exceptional save.
It's almost not newsworthy anymore to report that the Bruins or Celtics win games. Should I start blogging about how it was cold today too? "The Celtics won last night, and in other obvious news, college students drink and smoke." If I'm going to blog about those things I guess I should blog everytime Plaxico Burress gets caught with guns. See my point? Boston teams know how to win, and it's almost just understood at this point.
--JT--
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Yanks Land Teixeira in Mega Deal
"Raise your hand if you love The Hills!"
This Yankees offseason would make John D. Rockefeller proud because I have never seen a monopoly like this since my Grandma's 80th birthday party (I was the thimble, of course) After landing a player they barely cared about and presumably leaving a black check in his stocking, the Yanks now have the top 4 highest paid players in baseball. But you know what, fuck them. I like being the underdog. It was kind of unsettling being the team that everyone hated and wanted to beat, so now everyone will play the Yankees twice as hard while we sit pretty with uniball Mike Lowell, and our band of hard nosed DirtDogs.
If you don't think Theo is gonna go out tomorrow and get the best pitcher, catcher, and hotdog vendor he possibly can because he is pissed then you are wrong. When I am at Fenway this year I am gonna boo the fuck out of the Yankees in hopes that it hurts their feelings just a LITTLE bit. Apparently Mark Tex has no soul and sold out just like Burnett and Sabathia. If he went to the Nats or O's I would have been OK with it because its his hometown and he rooted for them blah blah blah but this is just ridiculous. I am seriously wondering what the Yanks got him in essentially the same contract that we denied. And I wonder how much of that hour with the transvestite hooker cost them?
I would never wish harm on anyone but hopefully they all can be in a cab in NYC going to the stadium for opening day and one of those chinese basket bike things hits their taxi and they all get whiplash and cant play this year and the Yankees essentially waste a quarter of a million dollars. Recession? I think not for Mr. Steinbrenner and Co. Good for them though, getting what they want, but at what cost? And those players I just lost a lot of respect for, even though Tex is getting MVP money and he's never been closer than 7th in the balloting. LETS GO UNDERDOG SOX. The world is against us again, and I think that's how we like it.
--MM--
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Great Debate
Recently, a fun debate the gentlemen and I like to discuss (besides the time-tested "Would you rather...", "Who has the biggest...", and "If you HAD TO pick...") is concerning time. During our wild college nights it seems that we never have enough of it. But just where is it going? Does time fly during pregame? Does the heart of the evening just sail by? Or do the blacked out later hours go the fastest? Each choice has its merits but here's how it breaks down:9:00PM-11:00PM - Your standard pregame time. Whether you are playing beirut, flipcup, or trying to "plant a seed" of interest in a dorm-residing underclassmen, pregame time is a very important piece of your night. Sometimes, pregame is so insane that you don't even make it out. You are constantly texting your bros and possibly some bitties in an effort to find out "What's good?" for the evening. You can get seriously caught up in your pregame activities, all while having fun and anticipating the nights debauchery. Yes, this time may fly.
11:00PM-1:00AM - This is the heart of your night people. You might be in a crowded frat house, a bar playing wayyy too much Journey, or just chillin in the dorms hoping campus security wont hear you, these hours are crucial. As one rum and coke turns into body shots of tequila, you are getting SERIOUSLY mangled. Your face is quite shitted and that may lead to these hours flying by. Maybe you are making out with that hot girl from calc, maybe its the ugly one, but it doesn't matter because its college, and you are L-I-V-I-N'. During these hours you may realize you can dance well, and all your friends realize that you really cant. During these hours you may think you know all the words to "Juicy", but you really don't. During these hours you are on top of the world, and that is why they may move the fastest.
1:00AM-3:00AM - This is where shit gets ugly. Last call at the bar, frat emptying out, nerd down the hall calls police because you guys are wicked loud. You realize the hot chick who gave you a hickey is actually an ugly dude, bummer. Maybe you are with a lady, engaging in 18 minutes of foreplay and 2 swift and disappointing minutes of sex. Maybe you and your buddies are grabbing calzones at the local pizza place and yelling obscenities at another group of guys, 98% of the time leading to a brawl, 97% of the time its in the snow, even in July. Maybe you're not eating a calzone, maybe its an Ellios pizza with thousand island dressing over it, or even a Lean Cuisine Chicken Alfredo, anyway it is THE BEST FOOD YOU HAVE EVER TASTED. Time probably passes pretty quickly when you are embarrassed yourself sending out dozens of drunk dials and texts. I'm pretty sure "Hey baby what are you wearing?" and "Want to come watch I Am Sam?" messages at 2:36AM is really gonna get her in the mood. Plus, you just might be blackout, not even remembering these hours went by. Also, you may be puking.
What do you think? Let me hear your opinions.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Rage goes off, Celtics win again
Rajon Rondo dropped a career high 26 points to go along with six rebounds and five assists as the Celtics cruised to a 124-105 victory over the New York Pricks. The dude went 9-9 in the third quarter, the best quarter by any Celtic in the HISTORY of the organization.
Rondo continues to make a case for himself for the All-Star game as he has absolutely dominated the opposition during this 392 game winning streak. The Celtics improved to 26-2 and will go for the record for best start to an NBA season when the host the Philadelphia 76ers Tuesday night. Yours truly will be attending the game in hopes to be a part of history once again.
Seven Celtics scored in double figures tonight as the bench saw a lot of minutes early on. The Celtics got out to a large lead early in the game but the Knicks clawed back and kept it a relatively respectable game until the end when the Celtics pulled away for good. Like I said a couple days ago, I don't know if this team will ever lose again this year. They've been flawless in their play as of late and are playing great team basketball. I don't think I've ever seen a team pass the ball around so well.
Anyways I wrote the post congratulating the Celtics on going 27-2 a few days ago. I'm not going back on my post even though some people said I jinxed it. Show me someone who honestly thinks the Celtics will lose Tuesday night and I'll show you a liar.
--JT--
J-E-T-S Blow! The! Game!
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Favre chokes! Jets lose! Pats live to see another week!
Well, well, well Mr. Favrah. The day after Romo chokes on the big one, you follow suit. There's just something about that West Coast that you just can't seem to overcome this year huh?
As you are all aware, the Pats won earlier today, bringing them to 10-5. The Dolphins also won bringing them 10-5. The Dolphins are currently in first place over the Pats due to division record. The Jets fall to 9-6 and third place in the AFC East.
We've been saying this all along. As long as we keep winning we can count on the Jets and Dolphins to screw up their own destiny. That's exactly what we've been doing, and that's exactly what the Jets did today. Come on Brett! You couldn't take down the Seahawks? A team with literally nothing to play for while you guys had everything to play for!
Let's go over the ways the Pats can get into the playoffs. If the Pats win next week in Buffalo (something like 10 straight wins over Buffalo):
Scenario 1:
Baltimore loses to Jacksonville, falls to 10-6. Miami beats Jets, improves to 11-5.
Pats clinch wildcard over Baltimore, Miami clinches division.
Scenario 2: Baltimore beats Jacksonville, improves to 11-5 and clinches wildcard. Jets beat Miami, both teams end up at 10-6. BOTH teams miss playoffs. Pats clinch division over Jets and Dolphins.
You read it right folks. If the Jets win next week and the Patriots win next week, the Jets will have paved the way for the Patriots to make the playoffs. All three of these meaningful games are played at 1:00pm next weekend. It's literally a race to the finish.
If Baltimore loses and Miami loses, I have no idea who makes the playoffs as the wildcard. I hope the Ravens don't because I'd rather play the Dolphins or Jets any day over the Ravens. I'm not about to slave over the numbers to determine who the wildcard is. I'd rather wait for ESPN or someone else to break it down for us all.
All I know is this- for once in my life next week I will be cheering on the Jets. Once the Pats win in Buffalo, and the Jets win in New York, I will send out my belated Christmas card to Eric Mangini thanking him for all he has done for the Pats.
Who would have thought after Week 1 that we would be talking about playoffs?! A backup quarterback who hadn't started a game since high school leads his NFL team to the playoffs and wins the Super Bowl!
Hey pal, you forgot "Biggest no show when it actually counts". Also, nice yellow background. I wonder if that was premeditated?
--JT--
Well, well, well Mr. Favrah. The day after Romo chokes on the big one, you follow suit. There's just something about that West Coast that you just can't seem to overcome this year huh?
As you are all aware, the Pats won earlier today, bringing them to 10-5. The Dolphins also won bringing them 10-5. The Dolphins are currently in first place over the Pats due to division record. The Jets fall to 9-6 and third place in the AFC East.
We've been saying this all along. As long as we keep winning we can count on the Jets and Dolphins to screw up their own destiny. That's exactly what we've been doing, and that's exactly what the Jets did today. Come on Brett! You couldn't take down the Seahawks? A team with literally nothing to play for while you guys had everything to play for!
Let's go over the ways the Pats can get into the playoffs. If the Pats win next week in Buffalo (something like 10 straight wins over Buffalo):
Scenario 1:
Baltimore loses to Jacksonville, falls to 10-6. Miami beats Jets, improves to 11-5.
Pats clinch wildcard over Baltimore, Miami clinches division.
Scenario 2: Baltimore beats Jacksonville, improves to 11-5 and clinches wildcard. Jets beat Miami, both teams end up at 10-6. BOTH teams miss playoffs. Pats clinch division over Jets and Dolphins.
You read it right folks. If the Jets win next week and the Patriots win next week, the Jets will have paved the way for the Patriots to make the playoffs. All three of these meaningful games are played at 1:00pm next weekend. It's literally a race to the finish.
If Baltimore loses and Miami loses, I have no idea who makes the playoffs as the wildcard. I hope the Ravens don't because I'd rather play the Dolphins or Jets any day over the Ravens. I'm not about to slave over the numbers to determine who the wildcard is. I'd rather wait for ESPN or someone else to break it down for us all.
All I know is this- for once in my life next week I will be cheering on the Jets. Once the Pats win in Buffalo, and the Jets win in New York, I will send out my belated Christmas card to Eric Mangini thanking him for all he has done for the Pats.
Who would have thought after Week 1 that we would be talking about playoffs?! A backup quarterback who hadn't started a game since high school leads his NFL team to the playoffs and wins the Super Bowl!
Hey pal, you forgot "Biggest no show when it actually counts". Also, nice yellow background. I wonder if that was premeditated?
--JT--
Pats blow out Cardinals, play the waiting game
Wow, can't say I didn't see this coming. A warm weather team comes into Foxboro in the snow and gets their asses kicked. Sure, the Cardinals already clinched the playoffs and Boldin was out, but you cannot tell me the Cardinals weren't trying. This cannot be good for their confidence. They already knew they were in a joke division to begin with, they'll be lucky to win one playoff game.
From kickoff this game was over. By the way, how bad is Matt Leinart?? The guy's headset doesn't work for a few plays and he has a bitch fit on the sidelines. What a bust. Cassel must be like, "How the hell was I the backup for this bum in college?" Amazing stuff right there.
Anyways, its the beginning of the 4th quarter with the Pats up 47-0. I'm going to chalk the W up for this game. Here's to keeping the shutout intact.
In more important news, the Dolphins and Chiefs are tied at 31 with 14 minutes to go in the 4th. Come on Chiefs! Do something right this year!
Jets play at 4:00 in Seattle so we will keep our eyes on that game as well.
--JT--
From kickoff this game was over. By the way, how bad is Matt Leinart?? The guy's headset doesn't work for a few plays and he has a bitch fit on the sidelines. What a bust. Cassel must be like, "How the hell was I the backup for this bum in college?" Amazing stuff right there.
Anyways, its the beginning of the 4th quarter with the Pats up 47-0. I'm going to chalk the W up for this game. Here's to keeping the shutout intact.
In more important news, the Dolphins and Chiefs are tied at 31 with 14 minutes to go in the 4th. Come on Chiefs! Do something right this year!
Jets play at 4:00 in Seattle so we will keep our eyes on that game as well.
--JT--
Cowboys suck, blow it for Pats
Seriously what the hell Romo. You continue to suck season by season. Every year it's the same shit with you man. You get all they hype. You get all the publicity. But every year you blow it when it counts. It's all fine and dandy when you blow it for Texas, because honestly I could give two shits about that entire state. When you start affecting New England and the Pats, thats when I take issue.
All you had to do was lead the Cowboys to victory at HOME against the Ravens. I understand if you already had the playoffs wrapped up, but you didn't. This was a must win for you guys! What the hell man! I had this marked as a W in my book for you. This wasn't even about you guys! This was about the Pats' in to the playoffs. The Cowboys were our in. You were supposed to take down Baltimore tonight, and the Pats would easily win tomorrow and next week and make the playoffs.
But no. You had to again prove that you are not clutch and cannot win when it matters. As we speak you and Witten are doing it and T.O. is filming while he crys wishing he was apart of it. It's like you don't even care. This sucks. Now the Jets AND Dolphins need to lose tomorrow?!
Everyone say a prayer. The Jets go to the West Coast where they have had problems all year, and the Dolphins go to Kansas City to play the lowly Chiefs. Hopefully these two joke teams that our AFC East foes are playing can suck it up and actually compete in the name of Belichick.
--JT--
All you had to do was lead the Cowboys to victory at HOME against the Ravens. I understand if you already had the playoffs wrapped up, but you didn't. This was a must win for you guys! What the hell man! I had this marked as a W in my book for you. This wasn't even about you guys! This was about the Pats' in to the playoffs. The Cowboys were our in. You were supposed to take down Baltimore tonight, and the Pats would easily win tomorrow and next week and make the playoffs.
But no. You had to again prove that you are not clutch and cannot win when it matters. As we speak you and Witten are doing it and T.O. is filming while he crys wishing he was apart of it. It's like you don't even care. This sucks. Now the Jets AND Dolphins need to lose tomorrow?!
Everyone say a prayer. The Jets go to the West Coast where they have had problems all year, and the Dolphins go to Kansas City to play the lowly Chiefs. Hopefully these two joke teams that our AFC East foes are playing can suck it up and actually compete in the name of Belichick.
--JT--
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Bruins Win 13th in a row at Home
"I hate when we fight baby..."
But that headline is barely the story today. I took Jimmys advice and went to the game today, (well actually my friend Dan asked me to go with his parents) So the four of us headed to the Garden to enjoy some Bruins action. Midway through the 2nd and 3rd period Dan's father told us he had a surprise for us and to go take a piss because we wouldn't be able to where we were going. I was intrigued, slightly afraid, and complied anyway. After the 2nd period horn, two Garden staff members approached us and we followed them through the arena. They brought us down, and as we got closer to the team benches I could not believe my eyes. In between the two benches, literally 6 inches closer to the ice than the players were, stood 2 folding chairs and a short bench, the whole thing enclosed in the size of a glorified phone booth. Those were our seats for the 3rd period. It was UNBELIEVABLE.
I've never been that close to a sporting event in my life. We couldn't have been any closer if we were dropping the puck for a face-off. So in between shouting encouragement to the B's and telling the Hurricanes they were smelly, Dan and I took in the sights and sounds. Lucic is a goofy fellow, and his nose makes Toucan Sam look like Meg Ryan. Rod Brindamour has quite a schnoz himself and makes Owen Wilson's nose look straight. The players are freaking huge up close and spit more than a camel crossing the Sahara. I took a bunch of pics with my phone but I have no idea how to load them on the computer and don't have the desire to, but trust me it was insane.
The game was exciting, the Bruins danced with the puck so much in the first period I thought it was Patrick Swayze out there. Finally they started putting some shots on net and tied things up in the second. The third was kind of a blur due to our died-and-gone-to-heaven seats. But I'm pretty sure some pucks went in some nets and more of them went in the Hurricanes net so we won. Needless to say the B's are quite a force, and certainly no fluke. If they can keep this up for another half season and take some momentum into the playoffs then we can make some noise.
--MM--
Celts do the Bull dance
Rage dished out 15 assists, while Cage scores a career high 25 points.
Other possible nicknames: Fast and Furious, or Crime and Punishment. I can't take credit for those ones but I'm into them definitely.
Celtics now have won as many games in a row as they have banners (17).
Next game is against the Knicks Sunday at 6:00pm in Boston.
--JT--
Other possible nicknames: Fast and Furious, or Crime and Punishment. I can't take credit for those ones but I'm into them definitely.
Celtics now have won as many games in a row as they have banners (17).
Next game is against the Knicks Sunday at 6:00pm in Boston.
--JT--
Friday, December 19, 2008
NBA jerseys you want to wear
In honor of the Christmas season, I've put together a list of cool sports jerseys you want to rock this year. I'm narrowing it down to NBA jerseys today because to be honest, I'm not into baseball jerseys or hockey jerseys. Love the sports, really, I do, but I'd rather wear the navy blue sox t-shirt for $20 any day over the baseball button down jerseys. Not sure I'd wear anything hockey to be honest. That being said, I love NBA jerseys. Yuuup, nothing like a 5'5.5 (5-5-5 deal ladies?) white kid rocking NBA jerseys. This post is strictly NBA jerseys of current players. I'll do the first 15 NBA teams today and the last 15 tomorrow. I'll get to the NFL jerseys at a later date.
In alphabetical order, let's get to it. Oh, and do yourself a favor and don't buy the cheap looking ones. Doesn't have to be authentic to look good, but don't go with the wicked cheap ones, you know which ones I'm talking about. Also, jerseys are to be worn with nice jeans and sneakers. Don't wear jerseys with dress pants, and never, ever, tuck it in. It's not like you're getting called out to play.
1. Atlanta- Man, as much as I hate the Hawks, you have to show respect to JJ. This Joe Johnson HWC Throwback Swingman jersey is the nice stuff.
2. Boston- Nothing says "I'm a Celtics fan" like a fresh white Paul Pierce jersey. The Champions Jersey is cool too, but I'm more of a traditional guy.
3. Charlotte- If you know anything about the NBA or jerseys, you won't buy a Bobcats jersey. Moving on.
4. Chicago- It's gotta be the rookie Derek Rose this time. He will be on the team for a while, so that's not an issue. This white Swingman jersey looks sharp. Also, if black is your thing go that way. Red is weak. By the way, Celts spanked the Bulls tonight.
5. Cleveland- Lebron isn't a cool jersey. There really aren't a lot of cool players on the Cavs. That explains why they can't win the championship with the best player in the league on their team. If I had to take one it would be Daniel Gibson, not worth a link though. If you're going Lebron, go with this one.
6. Dallas- Northeastern's own Jose Barea would be a solid hometown choice here. Go with the Dallas Swingman jersey. I couldn't find a link with his name, but the jersey looks like this. Also, the away ones are solid too.
7. Denver- Ah, yes. Denver. One of my personal favorites for jerseys. I rock the Earl Boykins jersey still, but if I was to buy a new one it would be different from the normal colors. Something like this, this, or this.
8. Detroit- I've always hated the Pistons as a whole, but I will admit that Rip Hamilton is in the top five of my favorite players. He's always moving out there and attacking. He's one of the best off-the-ball players in the league. I think he patterns his game after me to be honest. I'm going to cheat and use his college jersey here, because I'd never wear a Pistons jersey and you shouldn't either.
9. Golden State- You know, from one Italian to another, I think I'm going to go with the Marco Belinelli here. There aren't a whole lot of cool players on the Warriors so I'll gamble with Belinelli here and hope it pays off. Couldn't find an actual jersey of him, so how about a picture of Chris Mullin?
10. Houston- For the smaller guys I'd go with Aaron Brooks. For the bigger guys I might go with Carl Landry. For Asians, well I think it's pretty obvious. Brooks is lethal from beyond the arc and Landry is a hustler out there, Powe-esque. Now there aren't a lot of jersey options out there for players like Brooks and Landry. If I wanted a cooler looking jersey, I'd go with a T-Mac throwback. That being said I'd never buy a T-Mac. I'd consider this one though.
11. Indiana- Granger or T.J. Ford. Both real cool players. I'd probably go T.J. Ford but I respect anyone rocking the Granger jersey. Also, Marquis Daniels is a real sneaky cool option.
12. L.A. Clippers- I'd probably take Al Thornton over Eric Gordon here. If you're a diehard fan, my apologies, but pay for the alternate jersey.
13. L.A. Lakers- Let it be known that I would NEVER wear a Lakers Jersey. If there was a gun pointed to my families head, or worse, my head, I'd put on a Trevor Ariza jersey. Your typical unheralded, under the radar, semi-cool player. Again, I'd never voluntarily wear this. If your a Lakers fan and I see you wearing this, I hate you, but not as much as if you were wearing Kobe, Odom, Vujacic, etc. No link.
14. Memphis- Rudy Gay would be the guy I'd wear if I'm a Griz fan. He's will be an All-Star in this league numerous times and will be in the league for a while (not sure how long on Grizzlies though). I try to stay away from great players on bad teams, because 90% of the time they don't stick around. Anyways, the Griz jerseys aren't as terrible as the Griz actually are.
15. Miami- Part of me wants to go D. Wade here but that's too popular to be deemed cool. I could go Beasley but I'm not a big fan of him personality wise, same with Marion. I'd probably get a Blount jersey, wipe my ass with it, then mail it to Blounts house.
So those are the first 15 teams. If you're a fan of any of those teams, those players are acceptable jerseys to buy. Like the players? Hate the players? Own any of these jerseys? Post a comment.
--JT--
In alphabetical order, let's get to it. Oh, and do yourself a favor and don't buy the cheap looking ones. Doesn't have to be authentic to look good, but don't go with the wicked cheap ones, you know which ones I'm talking about. Also, jerseys are to be worn with nice jeans and sneakers. Don't wear jerseys with dress pants, and never, ever, tuck it in. It's not like you're getting called out to play.
1. Atlanta- Man, as much as I hate the Hawks, you have to show respect to JJ. This Joe Johnson HWC Throwback Swingman jersey is the nice stuff.
2. Boston- Nothing says "I'm a Celtics fan" like a fresh white Paul Pierce jersey. The Champions Jersey is cool too, but I'm more of a traditional guy.
3. Charlotte- If you know anything about the NBA or jerseys, you won't buy a Bobcats jersey. Moving on.
4. Chicago- It's gotta be the rookie Derek Rose this time. He will be on the team for a while, so that's not an issue. This white Swingman jersey looks sharp. Also, if black is your thing go that way. Red is weak. By the way, Celts spanked the Bulls tonight.
5. Cleveland- Lebron isn't a cool jersey. There really aren't a lot of cool players on the Cavs. That explains why they can't win the championship with the best player in the league on their team. If I had to take one it would be Daniel Gibson, not worth a link though. If you're going Lebron, go with this one.
6. Dallas- Northeastern's own Jose Barea would be a solid hometown choice here. Go with the Dallas Swingman jersey. I couldn't find a link with his name, but the jersey looks like this. Also, the away ones are solid too.
7. Denver- Ah, yes. Denver. One of my personal favorites for jerseys. I rock the Earl Boykins jersey still, but if I was to buy a new one it would be different from the normal colors. Something like this, this, or this.
8. Detroit- I've always hated the Pistons as a whole, but I will admit that Rip Hamilton is in the top five of my favorite players. He's always moving out there and attacking. He's one of the best off-the-ball players in the league. I think he patterns his game after me to be honest. I'm going to cheat and use his college jersey here, because I'd never wear a Pistons jersey and you shouldn't either.
9. Golden State- You know, from one Italian to another, I think I'm going to go with the Marco Belinelli here. There aren't a whole lot of cool players on the Warriors so I'll gamble with Belinelli here and hope it pays off. Couldn't find an actual jersey of him, so how about a picture of Chris Mullin?
10. Houston- For the smaller guys I'd go with Aaron Brooks. For the bigger guys I might go with Carl Landry. For Asians, well I think it's pretty obvious. Brooks is lethal from beyond the arc and Landry is a hustler out there, Powe-esque. Now there aren't a lot of jersey options out there for players like Brooks and Landry. If I wanted a cooler looking jersey, I'd go with a T-Mac throwback. That being said I'd never buy a T-Mac. I'd consider this one though.
11. Indiana- Granger or T.J. Ford. Both real cool players. I'd probably go T.J. Ford but I respect anyone rocking the Granger jersey. Also, Marquis Daniels is a real sneaky cool option.
12. L.A. Clippers- I'd probably take Al Thornton over Eric Gordon here. If you're a diehard fan, my apologies, but pay for the alternate jersey.
13. L.A. Lakers- Let it be known that I would NEVER wear a Lakers Jersey. If there was a gun pointed to my families head, or worse, my head, I'd put on a Trevor Ariza jersey. Your typical unheralded, under the radar, semi-cool player. Again, I'd never voluntarily wear this. If your a Lakers fan and I see you wearing this, I hate you, but not as much as if you were wearing Kobe, Odom, Vujacic, etc. No link.
14. Memphis- Rudy Gay would be the guy I'd wear if I'm a Griz fan. He's will be an All-Star in this league numerous times and will be in the league for a while (not sure how long on Grizzlies though). I try to stay away from great players on bad teams, because 90% of the time they don't stick around. Anyways, the Griz jerseys aren't as terrible as the Griz actually are.
15. Miami- Part of me wants to go D. Wade here but that's too popular to be deemed cool. I could go Beasley but I'm not a big fan of him personality wise, same with Marion. I'd probably get a Blount jersey, wipe my ass with it, then mail it to Blounts house.
So those are the first 15 teams. If you're a fan of any of those teams, those players are acceptable jerseys to buy. Like the players? Hate the players? Own any of these jerseys? Post a comment.
--JT--
Daily Annoyances
"Stop staring at my ass..."
Since Jimmy seems to have sports on the lockdown today I think I am going to begin an installment I like to call "Daily Annoyances". Today I ran into two of them that always (to steal a line from the esteemed Peter Griffin) "grind my gears". Had the day off today so I hit up the gym, which has its own blog-ful of annoying material, but Ill skip it. Anyway after absolutely destroying my tri's and chest lifting like 6 plates at a time (thats a lie) I felt it was time for some cardio. I headed over and faced every man's dilemma, standard treadmill vs. intriguing elliptical. Well considering I felt my ass needed some major tonage, I hopped on the elip and prayed no other guy walked in the room. As I could feel my glutes starting to get tender I noticed that there is a "distance traveled" section on the elliptical dashboard, if you will. This really is interesting to me. If I'm jogging on the mill or pedaling on a bike I can, in my mind, understand how far a half mile or full mile is. But I have NEVER, and I doubt anyone else has, rode an elliptical down the street (though it would be a hilarious mental image) So although its saying to me "Hey Dude, you've gone 1 mile, congrats!" it means absolutely nothing to me. Maybe like "Hey you've been on this gay machine for 6 minutes and no other man has noticed you, congrats!" would be more appropriate.
The second thing that I want to harp on today is elevator etiquette in regards to entering. Doesn't it always seem like when you stop on a floor, and someone is waiting for the elevator, they absolutely bullrush the door thinking that no one is in there. Everytime I feel like I have to do a Dwight Freeney swim move to get out of the way. And then the person is all like "woah... excuse me... " I mean do they assume that these things only work in one capacity? I challenge you to be getting off an elevator where someone is waiting and they politely wait for you to get off. Never happens.
--MM--
Noreaster of 2008 won't keep the Pats inside
WEEI reports that in a press conference earlier today, when asked whether the Patriots will practice outside, Belichick responded by saying, "Absolutely".
Hell yeah. If the Cardinals are even in New England yet, they're huddled together in some luxury hotel somewhere. There's no way they are looking forward to this game. That Pats on the other hand can't wait. I'm expecting to beat the Cardinals by at least 14. The Pats have everything to play for, the Cardinals have already clinched and are just happy to be in the playoffs. They'll be on the next flight out of New England as soon as that game gets out.
I'm not giving up hope yet. If I know Chad Pennington, he will screw this up somehow for the Dolphins. They'll lose this week and then lose in N.Y. and the Pats will be golden. Kansas City is a terrible team, but Arrowhead is always a loud place and a tough place for opponents to go in and feel comfortable. If any quarterback is going to screw this up, it's Pennington- but only if J.P. Losman isn't available.
On the other hand, the Jets are 0-3 on the West Coast this year, losing to Oakland and San Francisco in the process. The Seattle Seahawks, while being pretty bad, do pose a threat to the Jets this week. Brett Favre is one of the most overrated quarterbacks in the league at this stage in his career. If the Dolphins win this week and the Jets lose, I can definitely see Pennington going into N.Y., middle finger in the air, and leading the Dolphins to victory while sending Mangina and the Jets home as the Pats clinch the last spot as well after Baltimore loses to Dallas this week.
This is working out perfectly. The Pats clinch the last spot in the playoffs, under the radar, injury plagued, hated by all, and snipe their opponents down one by one.
--JT--
Report: Teixeira not coming to The Bean
I've got mixed emotions about this. Part of me wants Teixeira on the team because we need a huge bat like that in the lineup since Manny is out of the picture now (tear), but part of me wants to keep Mike Lowell on this team. Here is a guy that barely a year ago a lot of people were begging to resign over Alex Rodriguez. Now granted, A-Rod is a total queer, making it easy to root against the guy and not want him, but at the same time, A-Rod is pretty damn good.
I didn't want A-Rod. I'm not into the whole Former Yanks joining Sox and vice versa. I don't know how any Yankee fan could cheer for Johnny Damon when he joined the Yanks (Then again, when you have the highest payroll in sports and haven't won shit in eight years, you do what you have to do. See: C.C. Sabathia 7 years, $161 million). I respect the hell out of Derek Jeter, but I don't think I'd want to see him in a Sox uniform (not that he ever would be).
So, why throw Mike Lowell under the bus after an injury plagued season? This Sox team was good enough to win the World Series last year. Shit happened, the Devil Rays got retarded good out of nowhere and we just missed out. Ortiz and Lowell were injured for a chunk of the season last year. We don't need to break the bank to get to the World Series like "other" teams do. On top of that, Mike Lowell definitely could have gotten more money elsewhere. He took a hometown "discount" to play here, and after one year everyone is calling for him to be traded. A fine case of what have you done for me lately, I'd say.
I still like where our team is. If anything, I'd like to get some bullpen help and possibly another average starter in there. Beckett, Lester, Daisuke, Wakefield, X. We need somebody we can rely on in that fifth spot. A healthy Lowell gives us probably the best fielding infield in the entire league as well. If I'm worried about this team, it's the SS position and some minor pitching adjustments. Not looking to bring in Teixeira for 8 years $180 million, no thanks.
By the way, if we signed Derek Lowe I'd be the happiest man in Boston. I've always had a special place for Lowe in my heart. If I had to overpay for Lowe or Teixeira I'd pick Lowe. Overpaying for Lowe would still be not even close to what Teixeira will be making and not nearly close to the years. Lowe would fill this lineup out and he would be a great fourth starter. Come on guys, remember Lowe in the 2004 playoffs?! Come on! Who's with me here?!
--JT--
I didn't want A-Rod. I'm not into the whole Former Yanks joining Sox and vice versa. I don't know how any Yankee fan could cheer for Johnny Damon when he joined the Yanks (Then again, when you have the highest payroll in sports and haven't won shit in eight years, you do what you have to do. See: C.C. Sabathia 7 years, $161 million). I respect the hell out of Derek Jeter, but I don't think I'd want to see him in a Sox uniform (not that he ever would be).
So, why throw Mike Lowell under the bus after an injury plagued season? This Sox team was good enough to win the World Series last year. Shit happened, the Devil Rays got retarded good out of nowhere and we just missed out. Ortiz and Lowell were injured for a chunk of the season last year. We don't need to break the bank to get to the World Series like "other" teams do. On top of that, Mike Lowell definitely could have gotten more money elsewhere. He took a hometown "discount" to play here, and after one year everyone is calling for him to be traded. A fine case of what have you done for me lately, I'd say.
I still like where our team is. If anything, I'd like to get some bullpen help and possibly another average starter in there. Beckett, Lester, Daisuke, Wakefield, X. We need somebody we can rely on in that fifth spot. A healthy Lowell gives us probably the best fielding infield in the entire league as well. If I'm worried about this team, it's the SS position and some minor pitching adjustments. Not looking to bring in Teixeira for 8 years $180 million, no thanks.
By the way, if we signed Derek Lowe I'd be the happiest man in Boston. I've always had a special place for Lowe in my heart. If I had to overpay for Lowe or Teixeira I'd pick Lowe. Overpaying for Lowe would still be not even close to what Teixeira will be making and not nearly close to the years. Lowe would fill this lineup out and he would be a great fourth starter. Come on guys, remember Lowe in the 2004 playoffs?! Come on! Who's with me here?!
--JT--
Krejci skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet
Look at these Bruins! 12 wins in a row at home?! Hockey is back in beantown folks, it's official. David Krejci scored a hat trick to give him 11 goals on the season while Thrill Kessell added his 20th and 21st of the season. Big Mahk Savahd had a goal and three assists. These guys just get it done all over. Every line is a threat to score at any moment. There's never a time where the opposition can take a break. Constant attacking.
These Bruins are the real deal, and will not be taken lightly the rest of the season. How the hell will the Garden be able to handle playoff hockey and playoff basketball in the same year? When is the last time that's happened? Maybe not too too long ago but to have the Stanley Cup Finals and the NBA Finals around the same time will be a real treat for Bostonians.
Not sure what the hell happened to Tim Thomas tonight, giving up 5 goals like that- especially after having a 5-1 lead. Shape up Tim, that won't be tollerated on this team. Not this year anyways. Manny Fernandez played a great third period of goaltending to assure the victory.
The Bruins are now 22-5-4 on the year and 8-2 in their last 10 games. They sit atop the Eastern Conference with 48 points, 2 points ahead of the NY Rangers. Only the San Jose Sharks with 53 points have more points then the B's this season.
The Bruins hope to improve upon their 12 game home winning streak when they host the Carolina Hurricanes (35 points). If you haven't checked out a Bruins game this year, do yourself a favor and go. A lot of you are on vacation and can find the time to do so. It's a good time. Get hammered before the game, or after the game, or before and after the game, and go cheer on the team. Nooooope, won't be long now before we start seeing pink Bruins hats...
--JT--
Thursday, December 18, 2008
My Fuck Buddy Relationship with Snow
As a huge amount of snow is heading towards the Northeast I got to thinking about my feelings towards snow. As the shoveling of it is clearly going to cause my father's death one day via heart attack, I hold a pretty negative opinion already. My relationship with snow can best be characterized as a Fuck Buddy.
I want my FB only when I am damn well in the mood. So usually on December 24th at like 3AM when I'm kind of drunk I'm like "Hey Snow, what are you wearing?" and Snow is like "Hey Baby, I'll come over" and I'm like "Sweet." Because everyone knows Snow before Christmas is fair game. Sometimes you even spend all day with it, known as a Snow Day, both of you have a fantastic time and things are pretty serious.
But after Christmas its getting a littttttttle clingy when Snow is all up in your face and you just want to play outside and drive fast and not get raped by a snowplow that you barely heard coming. Around mid-January Snow texts you like "Hey can I come chill?" and I'm like "Nahhh I think I'm just gonna hang with the bros tonight" and Snow is like "So I'll call you next week?" and I have to let Snow down easily like "Snow listen. We had a great time in December and things were just amazing but right now I don't need you or want you anymore. I didnt really like you in the first place, I was just using you for Christmas. I'm hoping Spring comes around soon and we can hook up. So... sorry" And trust me, Snow does not take break-ups well. So for the next 3 months Snow ruins your life by telling Spring you have STD's and stuff and that all along you were in love with Spring's roommate, Summer. But like any good FB, Snow is always down for an F, so next winter when you are bored and need some winter action, Snow will be there.
--MM--
Celtics beat Sixers, break record for best start in NBA history
I know what you're all saying- "What the hell is Jimmy smoking? We just beat the Hawks, not the Sixers." I know, you're right, we did. All I'm doing here is looking towards the future.
We play the Chicablow Bulls on Friday at home, which should be as relaxing as a walk in the Boston Common on a warm July day. Then we go to New York where we are forced to watch Spike Lee sit courtside and act as if he is boys with every NBA player out there. There are no fans more annoying than Spike Lee and Jack Nicholson. I don't think I could talk sports with either of those guys because I feel as though they will act like they know everyyythinggggg about the NBA when in reality they're theatre majors who never grasped the concept of sports as children. Let's go Spike, one on one right now.
Anyways, so we're 26-2 at this point heading back home to the Garden where we will play the club that currently holds the record for best start to the season at 26-2, the Philasmellphia 76ers. This was already a guaranteed win, but now hearing that Elton Brand will miss a month due to a shoulder injury, this could be very well be a 30 point win. The Celtics will be 27-2 heading into L.A. to play the Lakers. There is no doubt in my mind that the Lakers have been thinking about this game 24/7 since the schedule came out.
I think it's kind of gay that we aren't the home team on Christmas, but whatever. A lot of the Celtics players live on the West Coast anyways so it gives them a chance to be home with family I guess. Nonetheless, I'm extremely confident in this team. It has gotten to the point that any loss this season will be considered a fluke. At first I didn't think we could go 72-10 but it is clear that without injuries, we can. I want that record. Maybe it's the Patriots fan in me that wants it, but I do. I want to beat every team by 20 points, go 80-2, and then unlike the Patriots, win in the Finals.
Yeah it's not how you start, it's how you finish, etc. etc. I know. Simple solution. Start the season insanely good, continue to be insanely good in the middle of the season, then kick it into 5th gear towards the end and into the playoffs.
Let me be the first to say congratulations to the Celtics on winning for the 27th time in 29 games and setting the record for best start in NBA history.
--JT--
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Breaking News: Hawks think that they are our rivals... HAHA
The Boston Globe reports that the entire city of Atlanta is awaiting the game tonight, in hopes to take down their rival Celtics.
HAHAHA. Wait. What makes this a rivalry? Atlanta, win something before you assume that we are rivals please. The video that is up on Hawks.com declaring it a rivalry can be seen here. I love how the quote in the video is "I wouldn't call it a rivalry", -Kevin Garnett. That sums it up right there, because it really isn't.
The Celtics' goal is to win the NBA Championship, there is no way the Hawks are on the same level as the Celtics. Yeah it's cute that they want to win the championship this year, really, it is, but it's just not happening. Where is the rivalry in that?
Atlanta, I realize that the only way to get fans to the game is to hype the shit out of the Celtics and this "rivalry" you speak of. Cities have been doing it all over the USA. The Celtics are coming, the Celtics are coming!
Ludacris at the halftime show? Really? Did the Celtics have to bring in the Dropkick Murphys to play at the haltime show when you came here? Did we put a video up of highlights of the first round of the playoffs, declaring this "rivalry renewed"? Absolutely not.
If we have three rivals, it's Lakers, Cavs, and Pistons. There is a difference between having rivals, and just hating a team for being a bunch of thugs. That what you are Atlanta, a team full of cocky (Horford), trashy (Bibby), annoying (Zaza) thugs.
Prediction- Celtics 100-88
.
.
-Nicknames for Rondo and Perk-
On Celticsblog, CSN, and BallHype, everyone is trying to figure out nicknames for Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins. Yours truly came up with Rage and Cage. There is a method to this.
.
I've heard of the "Rage" comment before, because it's kind of a play off of his name, Rajon. Add "Cage" to the mix and we are in business. Everyone knows Perk is a beast. What do you try to do to beasts? Cage them.
.
So, it's official, I am now calling Rondo and Perk "Rage" and "Cage". The Big 3 ft. Rage and Cage. You heard it here first. I think it's catchy enough.
.
.
So everyone, rivalry or no rivalry? I say no, but what do you think?
--JT--
Pro Sports Name Changes
Starring Matt Leinart...
Little known Tampa Bay Bucs lineman Greg White has officially changed his name to Stylez G. White in honor of a "Teen Wolf" character. Hilarious? Yes. Almost as hilarious as if Chad Ocho Cinco got traded to an NFL team where the number 85 was retired. Here are some other NFL characters who should change their names to appropriate movie characters.
Tom Brady (QB Patriots) - Lance Harbor (QB West Cannes Coyotes); In the movie Varsity Blues (which is one of my Top 5 There's Nothing Else To Watch So Let's Put This In Because I Haven't Seen This One In Awhile movie list) Lance is the starting quarterback for the West Cannes Coyotes and gets his knee mangled in the first game of the season. Unknown backup Johnathon Moxon steps in and becomes a hero blah blah blah gets accepted to Brown yada yada yada wins the respect of his teammates and also gets a faceful of whipped cream bikini from Ali Larter. Sound like a certain scenario playing out a Gillette Stadium near you? Yeah, exactly.
Roger Goodell (NFL Commisioner) - Joe Clark (Principle, East Side High); If you haven't seen Lean On Me staring Morgan Freeman as a crazy ass school principle brought in to clean up the WORST high school in California (maybe its New York but whatever shit is nuts in there) No seriously, in the first scene a teacher gets his skull cracked against the hallway floor and people are selling drugs like they sold ... well drugs... in my high school. Needless to say the place is out of control. Joe Clark comes in, gets the names of all the hoodlums in school and promptly expels them. Then he puts chains on the doors so those little nincompoops cant get back in. He rules with an iron fist and of course blah blah blah no one believed in us but you yada yada yada minority triumph etc. Roger Goodell runs the NFL the same way, suspend people first, ask questions later. All the while kicking some ass and taking some names (and game checks)
J.P. Losman (QB, Bills) - Mr. Bean (British character, idiot); Mr. Bean is a character played by British comedian Rowan Atkinson and if you haven't seen his old shows the man is a total moron. He puts himself in awkward situations and always seems to have the wrong thing happen at the wrong time. If someone has driven a car 1000 times and the steering wheel has never come off, you can bet that when Mr. Bean drives that car the steering wheel is out the fucking window. Losman is Bean, his ineptitude with the football this weekend gave the Jets the game. On that last play he was handling the football like it was a greased up bomb that he wanted nothing to do with. There is a reason hes the backup, and now we all remember why.
Matt Leinart (QB, Cardinals) - Will Hunting (genius, Good Will Hunting); Blessed with tremendous talent and brains, Will Hunting would rather sit around drinking beer with his buddies and beating the snot out of some kid who stole his pacifier in preschool. So Will falls in with some MIT crowds and is mandated to see a wise psychologist who changes his life. Matt Leinart is headed in that direction for sure. Cant you just imagine the speech from Kurt Warner at training camp this year? (No. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me. Cuz tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll be out of this game. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. And you're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still a backup in 2 years. Hangin' around on the bench is a fuckin' waste of your time. ) And cant you just see the speech from coach Ken Whisenhunt this offseason when he was deciding who to make his starting quarterback? (You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a great quarterback Matt. No one denies that.)
--MM--
Celts strap on bullet proof vests, head to Atlanta
Well the 23-2 Celts, winners of their last 15 games oh by the way, head to Atlanta to play the 15-9 Hawks. The last time these two teams met, Pierce hit the game winner in Al Horford's face as the Celtics won 103-102.
This time, the Celtics will have to go to ATL where they have had trouble winning in the past. The Hawks are 9-1 at home this year and will no doubt pose a threat to the Celtics. Am I worrying? Absolutely not. We're 23-2 damnit. We can go on a 10 game losing streak starting tomorrow and still be in first place in this joke division, but we won't.
We'll probably win, Pierce will continue to stomp on Horford, Rondo will burn Bibby all night, and KG will make Zaza Pachulia his personal bitch. Ray Allen will remain classy throughout the entire game.
--JT--
This time, the Celtics will have to go to ATL where they have had trouble winning in the past. The Hawks are 9-1 at home this year and will no doubt pose a threat to the Celtics. Am I worrying? Absolutely not. We're 23-2 damnit. We can go on a 10 game losing streak starting tomorrow and still be in first place in this joke division, but we won't.
We'll probably win, Pierce will continue to stomp on Horford, Rondo will burn Bibby all night, and KG will make Zaza Pachulia his personal bitch. Ray Allen will remain classy throughout the entire game.
--JT--
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Michael Phelps is a Tool
Listen I'm all for USA pride and all that, but it is no secret that Michael Phelps is a huge tool.
I mean it's not rocket science to know that male swimmers, while extremely in shape, are pretty gay. They shave eachothers bodies every day and a bunch of other stuff too that I don't even want to get into.
So I'm at The Place with a few friends and who walks right by us? Mr. 8 Gold Medals himself. Surprisingly enough, he was not wearing all 8 gold medals around his kneck when he walked in.
You would think that after winning 8 gold medals and being arguably the best Olympian to walk the face of the earth, you'd have an entourage of some sort. Noooooope. Not this Olympian.
The dude rolled up to the bar by himself, walked around the bar, then proceeded to go into the VIP room for what looked to be the lamest party in Boston. I like The Place, but at the same time I'm a poor college student. If I'm an Olympian, rich out of my mind, you wouldn't find me at The Place I'll tell you that much.
If 8 Olympic gold medals can't buy you friends, then nothing can. Also, nice hat dude...
Even Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett couldn't keep a straight face when asked about him at their press post game press conference.
--JT--
I mean it's not rocket science to know that male swimmers, while extremely in shape, are pretty gay. They shave eachothers bodies every day and a bunch of other stuff too that I don't even want to get into.
So I'm at The Place with a few friends and who walks right by us? Mr. 8 Gold Medals himself. Surprisingly enough, he was not wearing all 8 gold medals around his kneck when he walked in.
You would think that after winning 8 gold medals and being arguably the best Olympian to walk the face of the earth, you'd have an entourage of some sort. Noooooope. Not this Olympian.
The dude rolled up to the bar by himself, walked around the bar, then proceeded to go into the VIP room for what looked to be the lamest party in Boston. I like The Place, but at the same time I'm a poor college student. If I'm an Olympian, rich out of my mind, you wouldn't find me at The Place I'll tell you that much.
If 8 Olympic gold medals can't buy you friends, then nothing can. Also, nice hat dude...
Even Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett couldn't keep a straight face when asked about him at their press post game press conference.
--JT--
The "Dude Where Are You!?" Voicemail
Mostly every weekend I get this dreaded voicemail. Something huge is happening and I am either sleeping or not there. Is there anything worse than the “Dude where are you!?” voicemail? Maybe a bag of puppies on fire, but besides that nothing is worse. Here is a template for that type of voicemail:
Hey ________ (Bro / Moretti / Fag)
Oh my God you ________ (are never going to believe this / are going to totally shit yourself / are going to want to die). I am at a______ (sick house party / crowded frat party / wild ass bar) and you are never going to believe who walked in! Yup that’s right, ________ (famous athlete / local celebrity / professor) just strolled right in. And guess who he was with! That girl you like from _______ (class / work / that 90’s movie), and she was looking _____ (hot / fucking hot / unbelievably fucking hot) So anyway we all just got _____ (hammered / high / funny wallet sized pictures from a photo booth) together and sang _______ (Don’t Stop Believin’ / Billie Jean / Piano Man) at the top of our lungs! This was the best night ______ (ever / of my life / in the history of nights). Wish you were ______ (here / not a loser / not sleeping).
Later ______ (bitch / idiot / queer)
--MM--
Monday, December 15, 2008
Millionaire Football Players are Mean Girls
Jason Witten: Why do you wear your hair like that? Your hair looks so sexy pushed back Tony Romo. Terrell, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?
Tony Romo: Stop. Jason please.
Jason Witten: No come on Terrell, say it.
Terrell Owens: ... Your hair looks sexy pushed back Tony...
Annnnnd scene.
At least, that's how I imagine this is happening. Is this not the most petty thing you have ever heard? Its almost kind of endearing, that a pro football player can be jealous of the relationship that two others share. In essence, tight end Jason Witten and every team's clogged artery slowly leading to a heart attack Terrell Owens, are fighting over the attention and affection of quarterback Tony Romo.TO didn't get invited to the sleepover at Jason's house, so TO cries to his Mom while Tony and Jason stay up all night talking to boys on the phone and eating Cookie Dough ice cream. When things go bad with Jason, Tony runs to TO and gets the poor receiver's hopes up even though Tony has no intention of ever being more than just friends.
So TO complains that he is not getting enough touches, and that the offense runs through him. And to make matters worse, players are agreeing with him! Its kind of like Jason is the bad boy that skips class and smokes cigarettes and NEVER calls, but Tony waits for him to ask him to prom anyway. Even though TO has been there for him from the beginning. And all their teammates are like "Come on Tony, you know he aint good for you! Any man that makes you cry aint worth your time girl! You know Terrell is better for this offense, and your heart."
Where will this drama end? After a win yesterday against the now inept Giants, will love conquer all? Stay tuned to Offensive Plays of Our Lives.
--MM--
Report: Celtics Interested in Marbury... WTF?!
Over at WEEI.com, Jeff Goodman reports that sources close to the Knicks say that the Danny Ainge is interested in Stephon Marbury if he is bought out by the Knicks.
HUH?!
Am I reading this right? The first place Boston Celtics are interested in the shell of Stephon Marbury because he can handle pressure defenses better than Eddie House? That cannot be true. Listen, when Sam Cassell came aboard, I was skeptical. Luckily, it worked out to some degree. There is absolutely no way Marbury works here. Why does Eddie House keep getting the shaft? How many clutch threes does this guy need to hit to keep his job?
I refuse to believe the Celtics are actually interested in this thug. He is everything against Ubuntu and Celtics pride. Where the hell would we put him in the lineup? We certainly are keeping Giddens and Walker, and they won't cut Cassell for Marbury. Pruitt? O'Bryant? I just don't see it. I'll drop O'Bryant for Mutumbo in a second but not for Marbury.
Marbury is a punk, a thug, a has-been, a loser, most likely on crack, and I'm sure Kevin Garnett must hate him from back in their playing days in Sota.
Listen Ainge, cut the shit. Don't mess with Celtics fans like this. You find me one Celtics fan who wants Marbury and I'll find you 100,000 that don't.
-JT-
HUH?!
Am I reading this right? The first place Boston Celtics are interested in the shell of Stephon Marbury because he can handle pressure defenses better than Eddie House? That cannot be true. Listen, when Sam Cassell came aboard, I was skeptical. Luckily, it worked out to some degree. There is absolutely no way Marbury works here. Why does Eddie House keep getting the shaft? How many clutch threes does this guy need to hit to keep his job?
I refuse to believe the Celtics are actually interested in this thug. He is everything against Ubuntu and Celtics pride. Where the hell would we put him in the lineup? We certainly are keeping Giddens and Walker, and they won't cut Cassell for Marbury. Pruitt? O'Bryant? I just don't see it. I'll drop O'Bryant for Mutumbo in a second but not for Marbury.
Marbury is a punk, a thug, a has-been, a loser, most likely on crack, and I'm sure Kevin Garnett must hate him from back in their playing days in Sota.
Listen Ainge, cut the shit. Don't mess with Celtics fans like this. You find me one Celtics fan who wants Marbury and I'll find you 100,000 that don't.
-JT-
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Aniston is even too hot for the Ov' Glove
Jennifer Aniston posed nude on the cover of GQ this week. 
And that sound you just heard was 13-year-old boys' testicles dropping all over the country. It kind of sounds like when you step on a dogs foot by accident and he lets out a little high pitched "yelp!" and you feel really bad that it happened and kind of embarrassed. Aniston is HOT... but sneaky hot. Like I could totally see her making my family Sunday dinner, and then taking me upstairs and eating the mashed potatoes off the bottom of my feet or something, like real freaky naughty. The headline on the side of the picture is totally true, she seems to be getting HOTTER as she gets older. This is something I would never bring up to her if and when I ever meet her/marry her for obvious reasons, but it kind of mirrors the plot to Brad Pitt's new movie, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". In this film he is born an old man, and as time passes, he gets younger. Well if that is the case for Jen's hotness, then God help the world when she is pushing like 65. Flashing some leg while she is in the Social Security line, possibly nibbling on a theatre employee's ear while she buys her $6.75 discounted ticket... wow this is making me sweaty. In any case, Jen needs to really chill with her Angelina feud. I mean, in my eyes she dodged a total bullet. Any man that can be happy raising 12 African children and being with a woman who tongue kisses her brother is a real wacko (I mean cousin, sure, that's all good, but sibling? Too far Gina!) Now she is free to run around and lay naked on male models wearing only neckties (something a husband may slightly frown upon). So I say live it up Miss Jen, and now when the guys are all sitting around and they pose me the question, Jen or Angelina? I easily know my answer....... both.
--MM--
And that sound you just heard was 13-year-old boys' testicles dropping all over the country. It kind of sounds like when you step on a dogs foot by accident and he lets out a little high pitched "yelp!" and you feel really bad that it happened and kind of embarrassed. Aniston is HOT... but sneaky hot. Like I could totally see her making my family Sunday dinner, and then taking me upstairs and eating the mashed potatoes off the bottom of my feet or something, like real freaky naughty. The headline on the side of the picture is totally true, she seems to be getting HOTTER as she gets older. This is something I would never bring up to her if and when I ever meet her/marry her for obvious reasons, but it kind of mirrors the plot to Brad Pitt's new movie, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". In this film he is born an old man, and as time passes, he gets younger. Well if that is the case for Jen's hotness, then God help the world when she is pushing like 65. Flashing some leg while she is in the Social Security line, possibly nibbling on a theatre employee's ear while she buys her $6.75 discounted ticket... wow this is making me sweaty. In any case, Jen needs to really chill with her Angelina feud. I mean, in my eyes she dodged a total bullet. Any man that can be happy raising 12 African children and being with a woman who tongue kisses her brother is a real wacko (I mean cousin, sure, that's all good, but sibling? Too far Gina!) Now she is free to run around and lay naked on male models wearing only neckties (something a husband may slightly frown upon). So I say live it up Miss Jen, and now when the guys are all sitting around and they pose me the question, Jen or Angelina? I easily know my answer....... both.--MM--
Pats Win, Celts Win, Bruins Win, Sun Rises, Sun Sets
Well another weekend in the books and another Boston trifecta. The Celtics and Bruins continue to dominate their leagues with the Celtics taking down the Hornets, and the Bruins curb stomping the Atlanta Thrashers twice. As I blog, the Pats are up 42-20 with 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter and its obvious they are going to win.
I guess bars in Boston cater to Bills fans now? I walked into the Harp after work today around 3:30 to watch the Pats game and was surprised to see a bar completely packed with Bills fans. Completely packed. Now I've never seen anything like this. First of all I didn't know that Bills fans existed outside of Buffalo, second, I didn't know Bills fans still cared this season. I mean, how do you follow the Bills this season after their collapse? How ugly is Marshawn Lynch? Is he half man, half gargoyle? Google image this guy please, but don't do it before bed.
Anyways me and my friend take a seat a little outside of the bar and just watch. Please note that my friend is a Jets fan. With a little more than 2 minutes left and the Bills just getting a first down while leading, the bar is hopping. Bills fans are happy as can be- I guess a meaningless win is still a win... All of a sudden Losman rolls out of the pocket in true J.P. Losman form, continues to fumble the ball, and the Jets recover it and run it back for a TD. It all happened so fast. It was like a car crash in front of my eyes.
"NOOOOO!"
"Damnit, way to go J.P..."
"Damnit, way to go J.P..."
"Yeah, way to go J.P. you fucking moron!"
"HAHAHAHA YES! YES! HEHE HAHA YESSS!" (constant clapping)
You need to hear this guys laugh to truly appreciate the moment. Trying to describe it is tough- it's kind of like this girly high pitch howl. It's one of those laughs that will make you laugh, very contagious.
I start laughing, because he's laughing. So immediately I come off as a Jets fan, even though that can't be further from the truth. Inside I'm livid, but the situation in the bar is too funny to not laugh.
Long story short we didn't stay long.
Note to the Harp, your bar is in Boston. It might be a good idea to continue to serve food after the damn Bills game that 70 people in the entire city care about. I'm sorry, do only Bills fans get hungry? It's 4:oo on a Sunday and you stop serving food right as the Patriots game starts? So you just don't like turning a profit then? I like the Harp, great place to go before Celtics or Bruins games, but the whole closing up shop as the Pats game starts is pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
-JT-
Saturday, December 13, 2008
New York Yankee$
George Steinbrenner, Self-Portrait
Oh Yankees. You silly bitches. Have you not learned that overpaying for free agents has not won you any championships? Like zero. You were a dynasty from 1996-2000 due to player development and savvy front office moves. Not breaking the bank and taking risks. Giving A.J. 5 guaranteed years is as dangerous as letting Michael Jackson be the MC of a preschool graduation. Its just not safe. He has a history of injury problems, only making 30 starts ONCE in his career, so hes pretty much spent less time on the field than the Kissing Bandit in the 70s. CC Sabathia is a Happy Meal away from 3-hundo and is not taking up the South Beach diet anytime soon. Chien-Ming Wang has a hilarious last name when pronounced incorrectly, so that doesn't help either. The Yankees are so desperate I cant even imagine what they will do next. I would not be surprised to wake up and see a headline about how the Yankees used DNA from Marilyn Monroe's old panties to reincarnate Joe DiMaggio. It just would not shock me. A super-team made up of deceased old Yankees. They could offer Babe Ruth $20,000, 67 cigars, and 23 bottles of Jack, and a few of these and he would think he was REALLY in heaven. They want to get younger and more "athletic". I would not put it past them to sign Michael Phelps, possibly as a designated swimmer. But hey what can you do? We wont complain. It will make it all just that much laughable when they are on the outside looking into the playoffs and the Sox are popping champagne and sleeping with many, MANY Boston bar bimbos (Hep C included).
--MM--
JT on: Rice Balls?
So I'm at Cafe Pompei tonight getting my daily fill on za (anyone who knows me knows I run on pizza). I see a truckload of these rolls, but bigger. So i ask the nice man what those are, he says, "Rice balls. Roll filled with rice and cheese". Fair enough, I'm sold. Come back to my apartment absolutely starving and frozen might I also add. Pizza is great, no complaints there. A little cold but hey what can you do when its 15 degrees outside.
So It's just me and the rice ball now and this thing is heavy, I mean, its packed- it had to be like 2 lbs of just pure carbs. Comes with maranara sauce on the side too which is cool I guess. Sauce on rice? Not sure. Anyways I take a bite out of this thing and its just sloppy. Rice is everywhere, theres just this cheese oozing from all over. It's in my hair, its on my shoe, somehow I stepped in it I dont know.
First bite. Great. Extremely satisfied with my decision on the rice ball. Going in for the second bite now. To be honest, I'm not really thinking about anything at this point. Take the bite, chewing, etc. Tastes different. Why is my cheese rice ball tasting worse.. tastes like... peas.
Fucking peas? Are you kidding me with the peas?
Why would you put peas in that thing? Was this just in mine or are they in every single ball? I feel like the chef just dropped some peas in accidently? I'm not a fan of peas. I spent the first 16 years of my life strategically placing peas around and under my plate at the dinner table so I wouldn't have to eat them. And yeah, you can't taste it as much when its drowned in cheese, sauce, and rice, covered in bread, but facts are facts. It's mental at that point.
But this is what I really want to know. Who was like, "Yeah man, this rice ball thing you cooked up is pretty damn good... but you know what would put it over the top? Peas. Throw some peas in this thing and you've got yourself a recipe!"
NO! I just don't understand I guess. If you're into peas then you'll love the rice ball. I still ate the thing, but I wasn't happy about it. Not to mention it's literally a meal in a ball. You can't finish two of those things and feel good after, you just can't.
So there you have it. My first real post... on rice balls. This is the beginning of a beautiful thing.
--JT--
So It's just me and the rice ball now and this thing is heavy, I mean, its packed- it had to be like 2 lbs of just pure carbs. Comes with maranara sauce on the side too which is cool I guess. Sauce on rice? Not sure. Anyways I take a bite out of this thing and its just sloppy. Rice is everywhere, theres just this cheese oozing from all over. It's in my hair, its on my shoe, somehow I stepped in it I dont know.
First bite. Great. Extremely satisfied with my decision on the rice ball. Going in for the second bite now. To be honest, I'm not really thinking about anything at this point. Take the bite, chewing, etc. Tastes different. Why is my cheese rice ball tasting worse.. tastes like... peas.
Fucking peas? Are you kidding me with the peas?
Why would you put peas in that thing? Was this just in mine or are they in every single ball? I feel like the chef just dropped some peas in accidently? I'm not a fan of peas. I spent the first 16 years of my life strategically placing peas around and under my plate at the dinner table so I wouldn't have to eat them. And yeah, you can't taste it as much when its drowned in cheese, sauce, and rice, covered in bread, but facts are facts. It's mental at that point.
But this is what I really want to know. Who was like, "Yeah man, this rice ball thing you cooked up is pretty damn good... but you know what would put it over the top? Peas. Throw some peas in this thing and you've got yourself a recipe!"
NO! I just don't understand I guess. If you're into peas then you'll love the rice ball. I still ate the thing, but I wasn't happy about it. Not to mention it's literally a meal in a ball. You can't finish two of those things and feel good after, you just can't.
So there you have it. My first real post... on rice balls. This is the beginning of a beautiful thing.
--JT--
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