Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Jr. arguing for sake of it?

Listen, the NFL draft is fun to watch. At least it was until ESPN decided to ruin it by announcing the picks 30 seconds before the commissioner would do so. Anyways, I'm already getting sick of the MKJr vs. McShay bickering. I put up with it last year and now I'm being forced to listen to these two cry about where Matthew Stafford goes.

The bottom line is both of these guys are historically wrong in their predictions about where players go. Last year, Joe Sports Fan, compared the first 135 predictions of 2008 draft with the actual first 135 picks of 2008. The results? Todd McShay picked nine, count 'em, NINE, correct picks for accuracy percentage of 6.67%. Not to be outdone, MKJr followed that up by picking EIGHT correct for a percentage of 5.93%.

I don't claim to know a whole lot about college football, and I'm not questioning the knowledge of these two highly paid individuals. To be able to list where you think players might go and actually back it up is impressive enough. What I am saying is that it is clear that the NFL Draft is full of surprises. Nobody really knows what teams are going to do. It's a waste of time to take up ten minutes fighting about where Matthew Stafford should go when in reality, nobody really knows.

Detroit could take Stafford with the number 1 pick this year, unless they feel like a better quarterback will be around at the number 1 pick next season... it's their call.

--JT--

Red Sox Back In Action

Mmmm french fried pertaters...


Put away the Ray-Bans and 45 SPF sunblock because things get serious today down in the Sunshine State. That's right, cutoff drills and pitchers fielding practice is all but over as the Red Sox begin games on this lovely Wednesday. At 1:05PM the Sox took on and handily defeated a far inferior Boston College squad who were probably too worried about their Religious Studies midterm to even focus on the game. The highlights were some minor leaguers hit some doubles that scored some runs, Josh Beckett whipped two scoreless innings then chewed two tins of regular tobaccky (as opposed to wacky tobaccky) and called it a day. Clay Buchholz took a few minutes out of his busy day he had planned (bang playmate, rinse, repeat) to hurl a scoreless 3rd inning.

Tonight the ever-competitive Mayor's Cup begins as the Red Sox battle the Twins at 7:05PM. The Mayor's Cup is the annual spring break tournament between the two squads, with whoever wins the most games keeping the "trophy". Tim Wakefield starts for the Sox while some no-namer starts for the Twins (oh wait, he has a name, its Glen Perkins) Most of the regulars will suit up for this one so be sure to flip back and forth to NESN between American Idol songs (I mean... what...)

--MM--

Awesome new NBA commercial

Saw this first over at awfulannouncing.com, one of my favorite blogs. Real nice commercial on NBA greats past and present.


My only problem with it is Bird missing that shot- thats a bunny.

--JT--

Moore signed, Marbury next?

ESPN is reporting that the Knicks and Stephon Marbury have agreed to a buyout. This means that all signs point toward Marbury joining the Celtics, that is if they Celtics want him. Although I haven't heard Ainge say he wants Marbury, there have been indications of the sort.

I have been critical of Marbury in the past and feel that he doesn't add a whole lot of positives to a team. He has never been a winner, and has shown numerous signs of selfishness in the past.

This is what I want to know: By trading away Patrick O'Bryant and Sam Cassell for essentially Stephon Marbury and Mikki Moore, have we really gotten better? Granted, POB was nonexistent, but I can't see Moore doing a hell of a lot more. As far as Cassell goes, he didn't play this year, but Marbury hasen't either. Cassell has the leadership and the experience of playing with this current team, not to mention he is a proven winner. Having Cassell on the bench is worth more to me than having Marbury on the bench.

I just don't see why we need Marbury I guess. I feel like the cons heavily outweigh the pros. With Rondo, House, and Pruitt at the PG position, where does Marbury fit in? Does Marbury even deserve a ring if the Celtics are lucky enough to get that far? I was fine last year with PJ Brown and Sam Cassell joining late, because they filled clear voids on the team. Moore will not be PJ Brown, not a chance. Brown could actually rebound, and we saw him hit clutch shots. I can't even picture Moore being in the game in a situation where clutch was necessary.

There were times last year when I wanted to strangle Sam Cassell for hoisting terrible shots. If Marbury takes the same path, I'm not sure if I'll have the patience of keeping the game on TV.

Update: It appears I'm in the minority in not wanting Marbury, as over 75% of celtics fans over at celticsblog.com want the Celts to sign him. Hey, I hope I'm wrong about the guy.


--JT--

The Suffolk Voice: No Garnett, No Problem

The Boston Celtics have played two full games since the injury to Kevin Garnett, and as the legendary Ron Burgundy would say, "In no way is that depressing."

The Celtics, coming off a blowout win in Phoenix 128-108, were still on fire from Sunday when they took on the Denver Nuggets and won convincingly 114-76.

The reason the Celtics are blowing out semi-respectable teams in the West is because guys are stepping up in the absence of Kevin Garnett.

Read the rest of this amazing article HERE!

The Other Guy In Rudy

Showoff...

So I am daydreaming on the bus to work today and all of a sudden it hits me, what did the other guy in Rudy think? What guy am I talking about? Well the one player who had to sit in that final game because Rudy got to play. Think about it! Coach Devine knows there is a strict 60 player dress rule. All the players that went to his office in the climactic scene knew THEY wouldn't be the ones that would actually have to sit, no no of course not. Imagine if you were the 60th guy on that roster though, barely dressing for every game. Maybe he was a Senior. Maybe it was HIS last game too. Maybe his dog just died and he was REALLY looking forward to being on the sidelines for his final game vs. Georgia Tech. He is on a goddamn scholarship to Notre Dame! I bet his whole family was getting ready to make the trip to South Bend for his final game as a Fighting Irishman and now they had to cancel because he wasn't even going to be on the field. But NOOOOOO Rudy has to come along and screw it all up and now he is sitting in the stands drinking hot chocolate. To add insult to injury everyone starts chanting "Rudy... Rudy... Rudy!" I wonder if he did. I wonder if he played along like he wasnt wicked pissed that he had to sit so Rudy could play. Maybe he hated Rudy for being a suck-up and always trying so hard and making everyone else look like jerks. Now he has to sit and watch his team win the big game, but nobody ever worries about him. Well I do.

Celtics curb stomp Thuggets, Scalabrine's head hurts

"Brian Scalabrine- 4.6 pts, 3.4 reb, 1.5 ast, 0.3 concussions"

Did you see what I did with that title? I took Nuggets, and incorporated the fact that they played like thugs last night, and came up with the word "Thuggets." Thats the type of creativity you get here at The Ole' College Try (.blogspot.... still working on that). Gotta love it.

Anyways, how obvious was it that the Nuggets were out for us last night? First, they take down the man known simply as Veal. I'm no doctor, and I don't claim to know a whole lot about concussions, but I do know that when you're fresh off two concussion it's probably not a good idea to get another one. Hey, I'm just saying. Well thats what happened to Mr. Scals last night as he was visciously jumped on by some hooligan. Let's go through what happened:

Rondo gets under the basket and dishes it to Scals, who surprisingly was not parked out at the three point line. Scals goes up with ball when some punk named Petro decides he is going to sit on Scalabrine's head. Huh? Listen folks, it's red hair, not a target. What happened to wrapping your arms around the dude with the ball and calling it a day? Why the hate? Is it because he's a ginger? Honestly. Because if it is... I guess I can understand. Kidding, of course. So Scals gets creamed, and ever so graciously flops lifelessly to the ground. Based on the way he fell, I thought he was out cold. What happens next? The trooper turns over and looks around like it's Christmas morning and he can't believe all the presents he got. Just Scals being Scals.

Let's hope our token Irishman is back before St. Patrick's Day.

Also, Ray Allen got mauled by Kenyon Martin driving to the hoop, and then crushed by Billups while taking a three pointer. I don't know why anyone would be out to get Allen. The guy is the classiest player in the league hands down. Listen Denver, I realize that being down by 47 points puts you in a bad mood, but here's an idea that may work... play defense. Box out. Grab Rebounds. Show a little respect for the game. Oh well, we won't be seeing these bums in the NBA Finals anyways.

--JT--

Rondo beats career high of...26?

The Celtics cruised past the Suns today just like they did in the Garden when they played them. I don't know what it is with the Suns, Rondo just owns Nash completely. It's just that Nash cannot contain him. I wasn't surprised that the Celtics curb stomped the Suns today in Phoenix. The Suns are not a very good team. When you don't play defense you won't succeed. The Celtics, although giving up 108 points, generally play better defense than every team in the league. It will be interesting, however, to see how this team performs defensively without KG on their ass all game.

So Rajon Rondo scored a career high 32 points today... Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the guy. But I keep thinking to myself, "This guy's previous career high is only 26 points?" I guess I was just surprised to hear that, being that Rajon Rondo is so important to this team's success. He has never really been asked to score, and not needed to. Maybe now with Garnett down for an extended period of time, he will have to step up his scoring. The points have to come from somewhere. Rondo is an interesting PG. He reminds me a lot of Jason Kidd except without beating his wife. He's a play maker. He hustles for the ball. He's not afraid of getting hit going up for a rebound or a loose ball.

The saying has always been that the Celtics go how Rondo goes. He will have to step up even more so now that KG is out. As tough as it is to make guys like Scal and Baby look like actual basketball players, Rondo will be asked to and expected to do so.

--JT--

Will Solomon traded to Kings

Well, that was fast.

10 minutes after we trade for Solomon, we trade him to the Kings for another heavily protected second round pick, essentially nothing. So all in all, we traded Patrick O'Bryant for nothing. Surprised? I'm not. We go back about exactly what O'Bryant was worth.

Now we have two roster spots open, and got rid of some salary. Joe Smith and Marbury perhaps? I hate Marbury, but I'll take the bad with the good if I have to.

--JT--

Patrick O'Bryant traded for Will Solomon

"There is Celtics speed, and then there is Patrick O'Bryant speed." -Doc Rivers

Looks like the Nocioni trade isn't happening, not surprised there.

Patrick O'Bryant was traded to the Sacramento Kings today for a mediocre PG, Will Solomon. This really isn't a big deal, but it probably means that Stephon Marbury isn't coming to the Celtics, which to me is a good thing.

Rumors are the Celts are still waiting to see if Joe Smith gets bought out. Other than that, I don't see any major moves for them. All we can do is pray the Cavs don't make any moves either.

--JT--

Nocioni to Celtics for garbage?

I read this on Celticsblog.com (by far the greatest Celtics website known to man).

Supposedly there is talks about the Celtics getting Andres Nocioni for (ready?) Brian Scalabrine, Tony Allen, Glen Davis, and Patrick O'Bryant.

I know what you're all saying to yourselves. "Wait a second, we can get rid of these four players and actually get something in return?"

You read that right folks. The only one I'd be hesitant to give up would be Glen Davis, but ONLY because I'm not sure if we could get Joe Smith. If Joe Smith becomes a Celtic, and Ainge will know his chances of getting him in advance, ship Davis out on the next plane. I'm just skeptical of trading guys in the middle when thats who we need.

Scalabrine has been a scrub all his career here except for the past like month, Tony Allen will never live up to the expectations, and Patrick O'Bryant is a complete and utter joke and won't touch the floor in the playoffs.

This trade seems too good to be true, so I'm not getting too attached to the idea... but it's fun to think about.

--JT--

Shaq to Cleveland?

It's NBA Trade Deadline day, and fans of contending teams all around are waiting to see what happens, if anything.

There is a lot of talk surrounding the Cavs. This scares me. There was some talk late last night about Shaq going to the Cavs for Wallace and Pavlovic. This would wreak havoc for the Celtics. Basically, the Cavs can't succeed in getting a big man or the Celtics are in trouble. Also, there was some talk about Camby to the Cavs as well. The Amar'e talks have died down so I doubt thats going to happen.

There was this encouraging news from ESPN though:

Chris Sheridan: A source who has been in the know for years tells me that Joe
Smith is keeping his fingers crossed that the Thunder do not find another trade for him now that he's back in Oklahoma City.
Smith, the source said, would like to do a buyout and then sign with the Boston Celtics as this season's version of P.J. Brown.

It seems more and more unlikely that the Celtics are going to make any trades. I have a feeling it is going to be Joe Smith or bust. But then again, who the hell am I?

--JT--

Chandler for Smith and Wilcox NOT HAPPENING

I guess Chandler didn't pass his physical for the Thunder so the trade is a no go... This is very interesting stuff. Will Smith be traded to another team? Will he be bought out? The Celtics might be back in this thing. Maybe the OCT jinx isn't true afterall. The trade deadline is in like 15 hours! Anything can happen. But will anything happen? The word right now is that the Celtics are silent on the trade front.
I'm wondering if Danny is picking up the phone right now and calling over to OK City...

Wish I could be a fly on the wall when Chandler walks back into the locker room... awkkkkwardddd.

Massive wedgie prevents burglary

SALT LAKE CITY – It took a wedgie and a headlock to pin down a man suspected
of breaking into a car. Yvonne Morris, a technician at the Brickyard Animal
Hospital, said she chased a man who broke into a co-worker's car, but he
kept squirming away from her. Morris eventually grabbed the man's boxer shorts and pulled. Salt Lake City police said she then she put a headlock on the man until help could arrive.
The man was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on suspicion of vehicle burglary, possession of stolen property and outstanding warrants.

Well, it's a sad day for buglers when one of your own gets taken down by a wedgie and a headlock. Talk about a one, two punch. Clearly this guy wasn't picked on enough in high school. Everyone knows as soon as you get new boxers, you rip them a little bit just in case you find yourself in a situation where you're about to get a wedgie. As soon as the bully pulls, the boxers rip, and you run away scotch free. It's science, really. A friend of mine used to get wedgies all the time back in school, you don't know him...

--JT--

Chris Brown goes Rocky IV on Rihanna

Moments later... he tried to drown her.


Listen, thus far on the blog we haven't even touched this issue. So here goes. Everyone knows couples fight. Some couples more than others. But everyone, even Hollywood starlets, get into altercations. That was no different before the Grammy's when Chris Brown laid the smack down on Rihanna, Triple H style. (No matter how many times I type Rihanna it still feels weird) You just know they were having a typical couple fight:

R: "Chris I told you to wipe the seat. I'm tired of sitting on your gross pee everytime I have to go!"
CB: "Maybe if you cooked me an edible dinner once in awhile I'd help you out with that..."
R: "Excuse me? What did you say? Don't make me bring up what your mother said at the barbecue the other day!"
CB: "Bitch if you say another word I will fucking murder you."

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd scene...

Just goes to show no matter how hot your girlfriend is, she is a pain in the ass. Even Giselle must fucking piss Tom Brady off 85% of the time. Its just the way of the world. Men are from Mars and women are from the most annoying fucking planet in the galaxy (Annoyon). With that said though, you should never, ever, EVER hit a girl and I am disappointed in Mr. Brown. You are supposed to just yell really loud 2 inches from her face to make your point. Seriously though apparently Chris Brown got a booty call text and it set Rihanna off (understandably). Yo Chris what in the hell were you thinking! You know if you're expecting a late night text from some biddy that you put your shit on silent! Thats an amateur player move. So Rihanna gets out of the Lambo and refuses to get in. And trust me ladies, nothing pisses guys off more than when a woman is making a scene in public. CB goes berserk and goes all Hulk on Rihanna's face and then chokes her out, running away while the unconscious Rihanna lays there. Bold move by Brown, assuming she wouldn't tell.

Apparently these two fight all the time, Rihanna playing the part of the jealous girlfriend, following Chris around to all his shoots so that he won't flirt with anyone. This isn't their first break up, but it probably will be their last. The worst part is, Brown changed his Facebook status to single. That is so official. Seriously... Facebook! Not even "Its Complicated" or the ever-classy nothing route, Brown changed it to Single! He changed his status to "Now what, bitch" and his interests still include "DoubleMint Gum" even though his sponsorship has been dropped.

--MM--

Tony Allen to have surgery, Joe Smith traded to Hornets

Well, call it the OCT jinx. Not even 12 hours after I propose Joe Smith could be a Celtic, he gets traded to the Hornets. It's unlikely he gets bought out now, as even though the Hornets did this to save money, they can still make a playoff run with Wilcox and Smith. This sucks for Celtics fans. In other sucky news, Tony Allen is having thumb surgery and will be out until at least the playoffs.

I'm not saying Tony Allen was worth a lot to us, in fact he was a huge disappointment this year to me, as I thought he would step up in Posey's absence- he didn't. But he was a body out there and gave guys like Pierce and Ray rest when needed, and he could defend at times. Now with Allen out, the Celtics are forced to move some bodies around. I'm not sure how this affects trading players too. We might not be able to afford to trade those young guys or rookies I talked about now. Will we see more playing time for Gabe Pruitt and maybe Bill Walker? Time will tell. The Celtics lost a PG and a SG today, and haven't gotten a big man yet. I wouldn't call this a good day by any means, but there is still time to fix our problems.

Cassell traded to Kings for 2nd round pick

Marc Spears says that Ainge confirmed the Cassell trade. The Celts are trading Cassell and cash to Sacramento for a heavily protected second round pick in the future.

So what does this mean? Well, basically all this did was free up a roster spot in hopes a player of the Celtics' interest will be dropped after the deadline, or a trade will be made. Obviously Joe Smith has been the intriguing guy over the past month or so, but even that seems unlikely. If anyone remembers, Joe Smith was huge against us last year in the playoffs. It would be great to have him on board as he is just what we need. The Kings might end up waiving Cassell, which means a team in need of a veteran PG might pick him up (Orlando?). Or, he could end up back on the Celtics... remember the Gary Payton issue a few years back. The Celts can wait 30 days until after Cassell is dropped before they can resign him.

These next few days will be verrrryyyy interesting

The Suffolk Voice: Celts can't let Cavs do the trading

It was reported last week that the Cleveland Cavaliers made an offer to acquire Amar'e Stoudemire from the Phoenix Suns. It did not happen, but the idea of it happening is scary enough. There is a very strong possibility that the Celtics and Cavaliers will end up playing each other in the Eastern Conference Finals. If Stoudemire were to go to the Cavs and team up with Lebron James, you can bet they will end up in the NBA Finals.

Read the rest of the article HERE!

Chinese Woman Goes Berserk After Missed Flight

Seriously, everyone knows how stressful the airport can be. This is how we all would like to act in the airport all the time. It is so confusing in there I feel like Dustin Hoffman in I Am Sam trying to complete a rubix cube. "So if I'm going to Florida but there's a layover in Atlanta to I get my bags in ATL or do they go straight to FL and how much is the fee?" On spring break I am going to visit my brother and if you think I wont flip out like this woman if I miss my flight you are dead wrong. I will probably even make a bigger scene because Logan is way more crowded than this airport. I love to see her just flip on the crazy switch whenever she needs it. She tries to rationalize to the guards why she missed her flight then when it becomes to much for her shes like AHHHHHHHWAHHHHHHHH WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII etc. There is absolutely nothing worse or more embarrassing then missing your flight and this video just proves it. Plus, it confirms the age old stereotype that upset Asians are hilarious. I half expected a kung fu fight to break out in the middle of this.

--MM--

Kobe and Shaq Co-MVP's... How Cute!

This story makes me sick.

Can these two be any more fake? Listen, if you hate somebody, HATE THEM! Don't be a girl about it. Shaq, if you're going to diss Kobe in raps, do it in person too. Don't play paddy cakes with him out on the court. That's what girls do man. With guys, when you've got a problem with somebody, you've got a problem with them in person too. Listen Shaq, everybody hates Kobe- you just happen to be the most famous person to hate him. Why can't you use that power and speak up for the common fan? Damnit...

I guess I can see how they didn't want to give Kobe the MVP on Shaq's home court blah blah blah all that political stuff, but still, it's just not right. I wish I was around for the days when a player hated a player and both players knew it and showed it on the court. THATS what sports these days are missing. Where is the feud? Where is the fire and passion? I feed off that.


--JT--

Another football player caught with a gun, another baby cries after being born

Let me state the obvious and say this dude is scary. I mean, I made this picture big so everyone could try to get an idea about what happens when a human being mates with a gargoyle. I've wanted to post on this guy for a while, but needed a reason to. I guess this will do. The real question here is, "Does this guy really need a gun?" Look at him! He could walk into any store and say, "I'm taking this and I'm not paying for it and you're not going to do anything about it." He could walk up to anyone and punch them in the face, take all their stuff, and say, "You will not report this." These people would all listen, I know I would.

He got in trouble for running over a woman last year. His fault for two reasons. 1) Watch where you're going. 2) If you hit the person, let her know what you look like. I guarantee she won't press charges for fear of her life and the life of her family.

Anyways, the dude has a blog on yardbarker.com, good luck trying to read it. It's like hes texting or something. I dont know. A lot of it doesn't make sense, but you didn't hear that from me.

"Beast Mode"

--JT--

Defending JD Drew: So hard, nobody can do it

Check out Youkilis standing in the fourth row.

Matt, Matt, Matt...

Way to bring the children into this. In my post I say nowhere that I was fed up with JD Drew's production, I said I'm fed up with the fact he's always injured. That has absolutely ZERO to do with his son. Not to mention I believe you're exagerating his son's injury, as his son had surgery on his hip and had to wear a cast (which is still serious) but there really was no extended period of time where his son was going to die, based on my knowledge. I'm talking about how his play is affected by his injuries, not family life. He's not dependable at all. On any night, he could be out with a back spasm and it wouldn't surprise anybody. The Sox were willing to pay this bum $14 mil, but weren't willing to pick up Manny's options in advance? Thats only $6 more by my math, sounds like a bargain to me.

That being said...

Maybe I'd be a little easier on JD Drew if he wasn't currently at the top of the Red Sox's salary list making a whopping $14,000,000 this year. More than Youk, Ortiz, Pedroia, Lester, etc. It's a scam. If you're going to make that much money, earn it. If you're going to sit with injuries, fork the cash back over. It's simple. Drew has been about the money since he was drafted into the league, just ask anyone in Philadelphia. Drew is worth about half of what he is making, and until I see a season close to injury free with solid numbers, thats how I think of him.

Yeah he had a hot month and a half, but is that what we are paying him for? A month? And as far as white players go on the Sox, take a look around. Aside from Jacoby, our entire field is white. Nobody is whiter than Jed Lowrie.

P.S. JD Drew is doing a disservice to Trot Nixon's number 7.

Shocker: JT Poorly Evaluates Talent

MVP of my heart...

Jimmy, J.D. Drew has been burdened with being a 5-tool player and having one of the sweetest natural lefty swings (since a young Matt Moretti) for his entire life. Wouldn't your discs be a little herniated if you had to carry around that monkey for 30-odd years?

The man single handedly carried the Sox through the dog days of summer last year and in my mind is one of the greatest Red Sox heroes since Saint Douglas Mirabelli. How soon you forget that 2 run home run off K-Rod that destroyed the Angels hopes last October. The only reason he gets on peoples nerves is because he makes things look SO EASY that it appears as if hes not even trying. He glides around the outfield like a rabbit genetically modified and bred with a panther with turbines attached, on ice, shaved, driven by an over-caffeinated fighter pilot, going down a ski jump, under better than ideal conditions.

Plus, in his first season in Boston he had to deal with the distraction of his son almost dying. Yeah Jim, his son almost died. You try having a son and then have that son almost die and then proceed to play 162 games with your head in the game and not on your dying son. Not so easy, is it?

So please, lay off J.D. Drew for the time being, especially since he's white. And everyone knows Boston loves white athletes. J.D. is more than white, hes clear. He makes Kevin Youkilis seem like he could host the Source Awards.

(but yeah you're right... he does get injured all the time)

Shocker: J.D. Drew still injured

There are a few guarantees in life. You'll be taxed, you'll die, you'll probably go to the bathroom at least once a day, you'll crave pizza when you're wasted (and when you're not wasted), and J.D. Drew will have an injury during the season.

I almost didn't post on this, because like Martin Lawrence signing up to be in another terrible movie, it really isn't news.

ESPN reports that J.D. Drew is still hindered by a back injury that he sustained last season. Something about a herniated disk, I don't know I stopped reading because I'm so fed up with the guy. Supposedly he's still able to hit and run and play blah blah blah but lets be honest here, it's only a matter of time before this thing gets more serious and he is forced to miss games.

The solution? Rocco Baldelli.

Rhode Island's own is here to save the day. Boston needed a backup outfielder for obvious reasons, so they went ahead and signed the most injury ridden outfielder they could find. I'm kidding, but not really, but I do like Baldelli and I feel since they diagnosed the problem, hopefully he can stay healthy and be good for us.

--JT--

Dunk contest was decent, everything else sucked

Skills Challenge... Sucked. I think it was just the players involved this year. There was no competitiveness like there was in past years. Everybody just kind of slowed the pace down. Real let down.

3-Point shootout..... sucked. Way to go Kapono. Couldn't you have just won? What was the high score, like 16? Thats amateur. How the hell was Eddie House or Ray Allen not in this competition. How was Manute Bol not in this competition? Anyone in the NBA can get that many points in a competition. Come on... I will take credit for predicting Daequan Cook would do well in the competition. I love how Kenny Smith said he had no chance... nice call Kenny.

Dunk Contest... not too bad. First round was pretty rough. Rudy Fernandez's dunks were decent, but the fact it took him 3 minutes was the reason he got low scores. J.R. Smith, like I said he would, sucked. Dwight Howard is too tall for the dunk contest. His dunks were great, dont get me wrong, but because he's so tall he makes it look too easy and therefore the excitement isnt there. He should have raised the rim up another two feet, he easily dunked that. Nate Robinson, as I predicted no big deal, won the competiton. His dunk over Howard was amazing, I dont care what anyone says. Yeah he used his hand but barely. The fact he could even get up there is amazing. He deserved to win. I don't want to see him next year though.

Next years dunk contest should be:
Lebron James
Kevin Durant
Dwayne Wade
BILL WALKER

--JT--

Llamas attend owner's funeral in Ohio

"Dust in the windddd..."

PERRY, Ohio – A northeast Ohio farmer who died of cancer has been laid to rest with the help of some of the llamas he raised on his farm. Two of Terry McCrone's llamas made up an honor guard at his funeral Friday at Perry Christian Church. Four others from a statewide drill team joined them, wearing purple ribbons as they lined up outside the church. The llamas also escorted a hearse to Perry Cemetery. The 61-year-old McCrone died Feb. 7. The Rev. Bob Ladygo of Bible Baptist Church says McCrone's llamas would visit him at his window after he became sick. The ribbons the llamas wore were given to McCrone's wife and daughter.

This man obviously had a sharp sense of humor, considering llamas are fucking hilarious. Try looking at a llama and not laughing your ass off. Go ahead, I'll wait........... I know right! So funny.This story brings a tear to my eye. Nothing like llamas as part of your honor guard. They also called in 4 other llamas from a local drill team? Sounds like they are raising one hell of a llama army over there in Ohio. Unless we are at war and need soldiers with extremely long tongues I think they don't need to be worried about heading to Iraq. Anyway it must have been hard to give Mr. McCrone a 21 gun salute with no opposable thumbs but I suppose that's an issue for another day. They probably slept at the foot of his bed like dogs and stuff, he fed them scraps under the table, these are clearly domesticated llamas. And I like the part at the end where it says "the ribbons the llamas wore were given to Mcrone's wife and daughter" it makes it seem like they should be honored to get these ribbons! Like the fucking llamas were more important to the man then his own family! The llamas escorted the hearse to the cemetery? My God I hope the farm was like a mile away from the cemetery or that would be one long ass and slow funeral procession. If I was behind that line of cars I would be absolutely furious. Seriously you CAN NOT under any circumstances cut in between or in front of a funeral procession, in American culture that's almost as bad as ripping the tag off a mattress.

--MM--

NBA Saturday Predictions

Ah yes, All-Star Weekend in Phoenix.

Did anybody watch the rookie-sophomore game last night?
The game itself wasn't bad, but it was hard to watch the game in surround sound when it seemed like the entire arena was full of children ages 8-14... ugh. Every three seconds a pre-teen would screen bloody murder at essentially nothing. I thought it would die down and the kids would start napping around the third quarter, but nope. Anyways, it was obvious that the sophomores were going to win, they win every year. Kevin Durant is a beast, the scary thing is hes only a few years older than the kids sitting in the stands.

I actually enjoy NBA Saturday. I'm a big NBA fan, so I'd say that this all-star game is more enjoyable to me than the MLB All-star game. NHL game isn't bad, a lot of scoring anyways. Pro Bowl is a complete joke.

Now onto the events for the night.
Haier Shooting Stars:
Basically this event takes three players, past and present, from a given team. They are to take a combined six shots from various spots on the court, ranging from 10ft to half court.
Last year it was San Antonio that took it home. The contestants this year:
San Antonio: Tim Duncan, David Robinson, Becky Hammon
Detroit: Aaron Afflalo, Bill Lambeer, Katie Smith
L.A. Lakers: Derek Fisher, Michael Cooper, Lisa Leslie
Phoenix: Leandro Barbosa, Dan Majerle, Tangela Smith

Prediction: San Antonio Spurs. They won last year and I see no reason why they won't win again. Duncan is king of the 15ft banker, and we've seen him hit the three. Robinson will hit the 10ft, and that chick Hammon is a pure shooter and won't have a problem with the 3pt. Second place will go to Phoenix, followed by L.A., and finally Detroit. Of course, the key to this game is the halfcourt shot in the end, so anything can happen.

NBA Skills Challenge:
An obstacle course that involves layups, dribbling, bounce and chest passes, and shots.
The Contestants:
Devin Harris
Tony Parker
Derek Rose
Mo Williams

Prediction: This is tough because every player is stronger at certain things. I think I'm going to go with Devin Harris here. He's lightning fast and has a nice shot. Passing will be iffy but none of these guys are much better at passing than the other. Mo Williams is replacing Jameer Nelson who obviously can't play.

3-Point Shootout:
I will not explain what this is.
Contestants:
Mike Bibby
Daequan Cook
Danny Granger
Jason Kapono
Rashard Lewis
Roger Mason Jr.

Prediction: Jason Kapono. The dude is lights out from beyond the arc. He's going for his third consecutive championship and I see no reason why he won't get it. He is in my opinion and the opinion of many others, the best three point shooter in the game. I will say that if Ray Allen was in this competition he would put up a fight. I don't understand why he's not in it. Talk about a pretty shot. I think Cook and Mason Jr. are sleeper picks. They round out the top three. Mike Bibby will absolutely suck, I'm predicting him to finish last.

NBA Dunk Contest.
In this competition, players are selected to perform breathtaking dun... again, not explaining.
Contestants:
Dwight Howard
Nate Robinson
J.R. Smith
Rudy Fernandez
Prediction: Eeeeeeeee I want to go with Nate Robinson here. You've got the 7'5 Dwight Howard going against the 5'7 Nate Robinson. How can I not take Robinson here? Listen, Dwight Howard's Superman "dunk" would have been amazing, had he actually dunked it. I liked his creativity there though. The thing is, Robinson is tiny, and can get UP. If he can pull something nice off tonight he should get it. I mean it has to be ten times harder for him to dunk than it is for Howardm, right? J.R. Smith is a punk, I don't know him personally but I can tell. He won't win because honestly I dont think anyone likes him. Rudy Fernandez? Weird. Russel Westbrook should have been voted in over him.

P.S. I didn't forget the H.O.R.S.E. competition, I just think it is going to be an epic failure. Think about a game of horse for a second, the percentage of the shots you actually make that are cool are like 4%. Are we supposed to sit there and watch three bball players screw around and ultimately fail at the majority of their shots. Disaster. Prediction: We all lose.

--JT--

Boy allegedly forced to use hands to unclog toilet

"Give me that pee pee!"


EAGAN, Minn. – An elementary school principal could be disciplined for allegedly forcing a 6-year-old boy to unclog a toilet with his bare hands. The principal of Rahn Elementary has been on paid leave since mid-December while the school district investigated a complaint from the boy's parents. The school board proposed disciplinary action on Thursday. The nature of the discipline wasn't made public. The boy's parents claim their son told them the principal made him clean out a toilet bowl that the boy had accidentally clogged on Dec. 12. The boy told his parents he wiped himself with paper towels, instead of toilet paper, causing the clog.
The principal declined to respond to the claims Thursday. He also didn't say what disciplinary action was proposed and whether he'd appeal.

I'm loving this story. Seriously we all went to elementary school, and if you got in this much trouble for clogging a toilet you'd be elbow deep in feces from homeroom to lunch. I'd walk in the bathroom and see water bottles jammed in there, puppies, textbooks... I mean everything. What was this kid thinking wiping himself with paper towels? He must've been like "You know what I'd love to have today? A chapped ass that feels like its on fire all day long! I'd love that! Yayyyyy" Listen school toilet paper is already made of like barbed wire and concrete so it remains a mystery to me why he made that choice. Anyway obviously Janitor Bud was fed up with these damn kids and still fuming over Vietnam so he put his mop down in protest and said "Nay! I shall not unclog any more water closets!" For some reason Janitor Bud knew the 19th century word for toilet but that is neither here nor there. Sometimes the administration just snaps. So the Principal went with his gut, told the kid to unclog it himself, and finished signing detention slips. He had no idea things would have gotten this out of hand... But that's public school for ya. Its a dog eat dog world in there and clearly, this kid was wearing bacon pants.

--MM--

Fuck you Jimmy, you happy? That's blogging gold right there.

Calling on Matt Moretti

Matt, I know you're 21 now and everything and probably out doing stuff 21 year olds do. And thats fine, really, it is. But I mean, it's been like what, two weeks now? The honeymoon is over bitch. Get back to the blog! Who is going to write shit like bees are addicted to cocaine and all that other stuff I could never think of?

Hugs,

Jimmy

Two great Jim Beam commercials

The second one you've probably seen on tv, but regardless it's worth another look. And another. And... another....

--JT--

What the hell?

What. On. God's. Great. Earth. Was. That?

I'm speachless right now, which is why I'm reduced to writing. So I'm watching the Grammys and whatever it's ok I guess. I mean it's the Grammys so you kind of know what to expect. The Jonas Brothers performed with Stevie Wonder, not sure the logic behind that. It's like they just cart Stevie Wonder out there with anyone these days. Do you think he knew he was the side act for three white teenagers? I feel like we owe him a little more than that. Anyways, that's not the reason for this post.

Did anyone see the performance of Swagger Like Us by T.I., Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Kanye, The chick from M.I.A., and her baby? That was disturbing.

First of all, I didn't know she was pregnant so when I heard the song was being performed, I was semi excited anyways. All of a sudden this dinosaur-like deformed woman comes waddling out with what appears to be a small village tucked under her shirt. Immediatly I'm like, "Whaaaat?...."

"What is going on? Is she 13 months pregnant? Why is she out there?"

Listen, I'm all for pregnancies, whatever. You want to have a kid, thats fine by me. But they make clothes to sort of hide the fact. Wear something else damnit. That was sickening. How can you like the way you look in that? Is that some sort of fashion statement? "No one on the corner got knocked up like meeee."

I'm 65% sure her water broke on stage. For a second I thought when Lil Wayne was sitting down, he was actually the child she gave birth to on the stage. It was bad enough she was there, but why was she constantly in the midst of it all bouncing up and down. Dude, you have a kid inside of you ready to be born any second. Maybe not such a great idea to be jumping around like a damn fool. But hey, I'm no doctor... God forbid something happened to that kid, I'm blaming it on that performance alone. Be in a hospital bed somewhere.

The picture doesnt do it justice, but they kept taking the videos down on youtube and there is nothing more annoying then clicking a dead youtube link. Do some research and look for yourself if you can stomache it.

Here's the video for now.

--JT--

A-ROID

Arod: Yo DJ, my man, my buddy, my love, what are we doing tonight?
Jeter: Ugh...

I really didn't feel like blogging today, but when I woke up (yes I know it's 5:00) and saw the headlines, I felt compelled.

Yes folks, Alex Rodriguez took steroids. In other news, Jessica Alba is hot.

I mean this really isn't news. It just confirms what everyone already knew but never had physical proof of. Alex Rodriguez is a cheater. Who knows how many other players used the juice? Hundreds maybe. But the fact is A-Rod, arguably baseball's best player, was/is on the juice.

What I want to know is, what shitty steroids was he using? I mean who takes steroids that only work in the regular season? Do they not work in the cold weather? I'm dumbfounded by this. I mean if you're on the juice, and continue to put up atrocious numbers in the playoffs, how un-clutch can you actually be?

We always knew he sucked in the playoffs, but in actuality he sucked in the playoffs while BEING ON STEROIDS! Talk about not being able to handle pressure.

A-Rod is a liar, a cheater, a scumbag, and worst of all, banging Madonna. Ew.

--JT--

Tony Gonzalez to the Patriots?

Reports are that he wants out of Kansas City if the Chiefs go ahead and hire a college coach. To be honest, he should want out either way. The guy has been nothing but great to that team, a Junior Seau, if you will. Seau eventually found his way to New England and Bill Belichick and has been in love with the guy since. I can't see this being any different for Gonzalez.

Also, Watson has been a bust since we drafted him. I'm sick of his antics. Dropping passes left and right. The potential is there it seems though. Maybe a guy like Tony Gonzalez is just what Ben Watson needs.

All I know is a smart football player loves to win and a smart football player would want to play for Bill Belichick. Maybe Mr. Kraft and Belichick can work out something with Scott Pioli over there in KC. Hey wait a second... what do we have that KC needs? Hmmm, let me think. Oh! A quarterback!

Matt Cassel for Tony Gonzalez and a first round pick in 2010? Something along those lines? Hey, I'm just sayin...

--JT--